Jesse Guarascia in: The Suite Life on Deck

Hey, Jesse Guarascia here to bring some quality blady blah blah, I'm pretty sure you know the rest. Anyways, when you read the title it did not mean that I'm going to be in The Suite Life on Deck, it does not mean I have an interview with the Sprouse twins, it's just how I introduce myself. I guess I might as well tell you a little about it's predecessor, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. Besides it having the longest name I've ever seen for a Family show, it's really not that funny.

The story revolves around Zack (Dylan Sprouse) and Cody Martin (Cole Sprouse), who's mother Carey Martin, played by Kim Rhodes, sings at the Tipton Hotel. In return from Carey singing at the Tipton, she gets a luxury hotel for her and her two boys. While they stay in the hotel they get in probably the stupidest cliches in television history. I mean really, what are the chances that the worst hotel engineer in the world develops a time machine, that works, and the boys go back and live the life they've always wanted, but notice they don't want that. That's the whole show, they do something stupid, they find that "Oooooo, watching a scary movie that traumatises me is bad.", and they try to counter-act it doing another stupid thing.

I'm sorry if all of you Astral Media fluffers, or Sprouse fluffers for that matter get mad at me, but it's true that it sucks really bad. The jokes are bullcrap and obviously the laugh box audience is just being forced with a gun to their heads until they laugh. This is probably the only show in history that runs for about 3 seasons, and gets watched, sadly, then gets a sequel that will probably get more attention than the Superbowl this year. The previews and trailers have already flooded Youtube to the point where relevant videos are getting the cold shoulder, and sadly I'm afraid this trend may lead on.

What I meant by that was, if this horrible shows preview can get thousands of views in the first couple of days, then this could lead into even worse shows like House, Scrubs, Terminator: The Sarrah Conner Chronicles, anything by Fox, any game by the EA divisions, and especially FRED, that son of a bitch. I'm just saying, if previews take over original and thought-provoking content then why don't we make the previews have some kind of legality rule, where say you can't add then to any media site without paying royalties to the owner of the preview.

Anyways that's all I have to say, thank you for reading. If you feel like bashing the hell out of me e-mail me at: internetcritic@gmail.com (BTW you can e-mail from hotmail and yahoo to GMail.) IM or AIM me at: kingbling95@hotmail.com or AIM - Loredivine

IC's Blogger Tutorials #2 - Sharing Audio and Folders

Hey IC here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Welcome back to IC's Blogger Tutorials where I'll be talking about how to share audio, be it from labeled singers or your own podcast, and how to share folders from your computer. Now here are the steps neccesary in order to add audio to your blog and/or website.

Audio Steps

#1. First take your downloaded or recorded audio, in this case it'll be a podcast so recorded audio. Then go to a hosting website the best ones in my opinion are the ones posted here. Make sure you've sign up and posted the correct audio file.

#2. Once you've uploaded your audio file be sure to get the embed code from the description of the audio player, lets say Last FM. Then if you wish to put the audio within your post, you must travel to the "Edit HTML" part of the post right next to compose at the top of the text box.

#3. Make sure you've placed it in an area of the post where it is most complimented. Then once it's up sit back, listen and enjoy. If it is a downloaded song be sure to credit the artist, and the label for legal issues.

File Sharing

#1. Be sure to put the folder is put in a place where it can be uploaded easily on your computer. Then go to a good uploaded share website, I reccomend maybe Rapidshare that seems to be the easiest to manuver through without a whole lot of trial and error.

#2. Now that it's up get the link which means you should highlight some text and click link in the posting coloum above your text box. Once you get the link place it in the Web URL section and people can click and download.

#3. Now that it's up just wait for people to download, and enjoy. For security measures, if you downloaded the file from a seperate place, I suggest you virus scan it so your and your downloaders computers do not become infected.

Thanks for reading, and happy blogging.

If you have any issues e-mail me at: internetcritic@gmail.com
IM or AIM me at: kingbling95@hotmail.com or AIM - Loredivine

IC's Blogger Tutorials #1 - Youtube Videos

Hey IC here to give you some quality information for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Hello, and welcome to my 5 part tutorial on some advanced and very easy tricks on Blogspot blogs. The first one I will speak of is how to add youtube videos directly to your post. Now this trick isn't too difficult so I'll try my best to keep this short and to the point.

Step #1: Now to get the video to show directly on your blog, you must go to the youtube video in question. Now to the right of the video (under the discription), there is a line of text that to the left of it reads "Embed", which is program language for, "to show something on a website."

Step #2: Copy and paste the "Embed" link and go back to blogger, then click new post and write everything you think is important as to why the video is their and/or talk about what you were going to talk about in the post to start with. Now go to "EDIT HTML" it's very important that you paste the code there, because if you paste it just with the text it will come up as text.

Step #3: Be sure that you pasted the "Embed" code where it is most complimented with your post. Once your done just click publish post, and your good to go. If you think the post needs some touching up you can click save as draft and edit it later. Also it's incredibly important that you credit the creator of the video for legal issues.

That's all and stay tuned for the rest of IC's Blogger Tutorials, where I'll tell you how to add counters and banners to your blog, how to move around the placement or things on your blog, and much much more. Thank you for reading, and happy blogging.

Internet Critic Reviews - Private Servers

Hey IC here to bring you some quality content, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. You play freeware online games right, of course that's why you come here so you can here my opinion on them. Do you dislike the massive amounts of grinding neccesary to be able to actually reach the top of the leaderboards. Then look no further then a private server. What people do with private servers is that they take they coding for the original game or another private server, and alter to make they game more desirable to play for long sessions. One of the flaws with this idea is the huge lack of people playing, because unless you've been playing the game for like 2 years and wanna try something new, you will not even consider looking for a new one.

What kind of games get a freeware private server, well the only ones I know of are Fly For Fun (FLYFF for short), Ragnarok or RO, and finally from what I know any game that's already free. I said FLYFF because Fly for Fun is extremely too much like World of Warcraft when it comes to the grind, so when they edit it and make a private server they always take the time to increase the experience you gain per kill. If they make a private server that entails to them having to pay for the server to stay up and hope that people donate to keep it up. Most of the time they also include all the payed for stuff you get in the original game, which therefor leads into my next point, legality.

If you do create a private server your basically stealing someone elses idea, so it's like going "Oh hey, Smosh is awesome why don't I take all of their videos and sell them on DVD." Actually that's not a bad idea. Giving all of the stuff you have to pay for, for free may be a fairly good deal but you have to consider the fact that you or someone will have to donate to keep the server up. There's only 2 reasons I can think of that would make a server be forced to drop: 1. The server host hasn't payed therefor causing them to shut-down the server, 2. The original game host (in this case it's Flyff), tells them they need to shut-down the site or they could be sued for illegal use of their game.

Well anyways that's all I have to say, thank you for reading and be sure to check out Monday-Friday this week for IC's Blogger Tutorials, where I tell you about all of the simple to extremely advanced things you can do with bloggger that most people have issues with.

E-mail me at: internetcritic@gmail.com

IM me at: kingbling95@hotmail.com

AIM me at: Loredivine

Internet Critic tries out - Yuwie

Hey you guys, IC here, it's been a while eh. Well like I said on IC and JG: Double Time, quality is key here at Internet Critic, so me and Jesse are gonna try to keep up the posts that you all love so much. Well this time to keep myself up-to-date on some of the websites on the web, I'm gonna review one, and this time it's Yuwie. O.K., before I start this review I am going to note a couple of things about the name of this site, starting off with Yuwie Fin is a phrase my younger brother uses to make his friends laugh. The only serious reason is the fact that Yuwie may have never been used, but that doesn't make it a good name, just like this links site, it's guarasciabloghome.blogspot.com where as it should have been internetcritic.blogspot.com.

Well then, right the uhh point of the website thingy. Well before you even sign-up your greeted to a nice young man by the name of .......... I really wasn't listening. Anyways it's expectable to want to physically interact to your viewers, it gains trustwortiness and makes them wanna use your site more because they feel welcome. Ok that's enough of that how about what your get from the website, well money. "What money, that's a scam someone tell CBC." Says Jack Layton of the New Democrats, well I doubt it, see what this man believes from the begginging of the handsome video, is that everyone has the 3 friends willing to sign up in the world. The amount of money isn't $10 per 5 seconds on the site or something you only get payed everytime someone looks at some of your content.

"What content?", you may ask, well basically anything internet related which is my specialty. The things you have access to post are: videos (for the youtube crowd), blogs specific to their site, pictures, and etc. etc. etc. The list can go on forever, but you have to put on alot to make alot of money becaus the more people that look at it, the more money you get. One of the issues of uploading videos or pictures it's basically free, meaning you don't have to do anything but upload videos and pictures you find on the web.

If your looking for a good way to get an iPod, TV, Music and such I reccomend trying out maybe SwagBucks, or something where a reliable source gives you proof. I don't believe in the word free, there has to be a commitment for you to make the money or get the prize, you have to be patient you can't make money online any faster than you would in the real world. All I'm saying is that there are much more realistic income making sites other than and you should try them all out because they all give some kind of income, unless it obviously lies then it's automatically fake.

Email me at: internetcritic@gmail.com

IM me at: kingbling95@hotmail.com

AIM me at: Loredivine

Find me on FaceBook as: Jesse Guarascia (the only one)

Internet Critic's - Youtube Pick of the Week

Hello you guys, IC here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay. For the first time ever on this site I am proud to announce that I now have a Youtube Pick of the Week. This is primarily because I feel like 90% of the content on Youtube is viable, and I believe that people who aren't famous get credit for what they do. I mean I was once on Youtube, my name at the time was Chronicles of Gaming, I had some somewhat decent amount of video and they were good in a stupid kind of way. I eventually got banned because my content, I ranted about games and such, were flagged as spam even though they had a purpose unlike some people (yeah that's right I'm looking at you SXEPhil, and by the way I am not Defranco).

The second reason I felt like instead of talking about whatever is completely unimportant, I would try to freshen up this site by posting some original content of which I think is interesting. The first video I'm going to throw up goes to Alhorian. Over the past couple of posts actually my IC and JG: Double Time post (See here.), and I sorta compared him to Zero Punctuation, I know that's rude with Alhorian being a copy and everything but.... whateva right. Anyways, while I was talking about him I said I enjoy his content, why I'll never remember he just made me feel happy. No not like that.

So here is IC's Youtube Pick of the Week - Alhorian's Ranting Monkey: Being an Achievement Whore.

IC Movie Reviews - The Butterfly Effect

Hey IC here to post you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Today as I scrolled through Star Choice's movie channels, I stopped at IFC. Playing at the time was Scary Movie, but I saw that after that my favourite movie ever was playing, The Butterfly Effect.

Well then I guess I should start on the story then.  The story starts off with Evan, a young boy who lives with his mother, who from the look of her uniform is either a stripped or a waitress. Evan goes to elementary school with his mother where she finds a picture he drew of what he wants to be when he grows up, only for him to say he doesn't remember doing it. Not just that, but many, many other events in his life are blanked out from a condition his father had, hmm didn't know craziness was hereditary. As he continues in life he starts to remember the things he had blanked out, and ultimately alters the future and his own life.

Over the course of the movie, the things he blanked out become a little more understandable. At about mid-beggining he goes to his friend Kayleigh's house to meet her father, played by Eric Stoltz. Once they go in the basement to record a "movie", he blanks out everything unto the point where Mr. Miller tells Kayleigh and Evan to get naked. When he tries to remember he tells off the father, and in that alters the past so him and Kayleigh are dating at a college.

In the movie the role of Evan is played by Logan Lerman (Age 7), then John Patrick Amedori (Age 13), then finally Ashton Kutcher, and each actor pulls off their respective role perfectly. Logan Lerman pulls off a confused blanking child perfectly, as does John Patrick Amedori pull off a memory lost teenager amazingly. The other characters effected by Evan had to be drastically changed in how they look in order to match what he did, so I have to respect the hair, make-up, and costume designers.

This movie will always be my favourite because it's a smart person movie. A smart person movie is a movie that makes you reconsider the entire human condition, and a stupid person movie is for someone who turns off The Butterfly Effect, or Hancock and loads up Meet the Spartans. That's all I have to say, thank you for reading and I will be back to update the Xbox Live Update.

Internet Critic Reviews - N

Hey IC here again to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Today would be the second day in a row that I've reviewed a video game, and this game is actually 10 to the power of infinity times better than Iron Man and it's free. Now,N. N is short for Ninja, and is basically a 2-D Ninja game, so I like to call it "Ninja Gaiden: Freeware that just Happens to be good Enough to have a Retail Release." Well here's the story of N. You clicked Run, then you sat there for 15 seconds as it loaded, clicked run again and played it, that's it. There would have been a story to this game if the developer didn't have about $10 to develop the game.

The game play is solid, but is missing the "right stuff", "the essence", what the french might call..... I don't know what. What Dr. Evil's monologue means in this case is that even if there is a really engrossing game play, it will eventually get boring. The game play for this game is basically just going through a couple of levels using only your super amazing ninja powers and jump to the end. What I find interestingly boring about this is to see the end you have to not just do this, but you must also collect yellow blocks that regain the time you have to complete the level. This is reminiscent to Prince of Persia where you need time sand to go back and forth in time. You also have the ability to make your own levels, but does that matter when Boom Blox, SSBB, and like 300 other games have it.

 

  I'm on the Prince of Persia imitations, you have the ability to jump but only so far and only fall so much. The falling is more annoying then my cat that doesn't know how to fuck off, since it changes depending on the level, on one level you could fall 5000 yards and survive, where as on level whatever-the-hell you can fall maybe 300 yards.  The opposite of Prince of Persia is the killing, instead of being stabbed with say a knife, you instead get shot, electrocuted, exploded and well 5-story splatter owned. That's kinda weird that your a ninja, the ultimate human being, yet people still believe shooting you is the correct method of death for you. I'm not saying this is a bad game, but they could have done much better, I guess we'll just have to see if the sequel, N+, is any good when I buy it, If I ever do. Well that's all I have to say, and thank you for reading.

Tell me how bad I am at reviewing games at: internetcritic@gmail.com
or Personally mock me as I expect it at: kingbling95@hotmail.com or AIM - Loredivine.

Internet Critic Reviews - Iron Man Demo

Ugh, I can't beleive I have to do this, well I don't have to but I didn't do anything else today. Whenever a succesful movie is released the obvious merchandise, toys, appearel, and the worst of all video games, are made. By ", the worst of all video games." I don't mean video games are terrible, I mean there is maybe one good movie tie-in video game (the obviously amazing Goldeneye: 007). Iron Man doesn't cut this law nor does it do too bad. Do note I was playing the demo version of this game for 2 reasons, one I only review things that everyone can get, so there either affordably or freely priced, two I'm not buying anymore movie tie-in games since I bought Kung-Fu Panda.

Ok let's go down a group of things I hate about this game. #1 the finicky ass controls. Let's see when you play a video game you expect this to be the controls for say an adventure game, right button is some sort of extra attack and the left trigger does something with the left side of your character. No this game beleives that you get to fly really fast pressing the right button, and fly upwards with the left trigger. Another control issue is that there is no jump button. Like any game A= Jump that's just how it works, but in this game A=LT (Left Trigger)= Upwards flight, its not that annoying but I like jumping, not flying 300 yards in the air before I can go up a ledge.

#2 is the weapons. This one I'm not that mad at, but I don't think just because everyone uses a gun means EVERYONE should use a gun. When you hold the X button you get a giant ray of light that pops out of your chest, where as if you hold the Y button, you get a bunch of missiles that fly out of your hand, and if you hold the RT (Right Trigger) you get a gunshot from the same hand as the missiles. This isn't that bad, but all of the weapons have the same effect except for the chest blast, this attack is 1 hit kill, but you need to charge it meaning you could get killed at any time. Oh and dying you die after you lose energy 3 times in a row, meaning dying is really hard.

#3 the final thing wrong with this game is, flying. "What?!? Iron Man's main power is flight and it's so cool in the movie." Says the guy in the back with the Robert Downey Jr. t-shirt on. Well yes it is his main power, and yes once again it is cool in the movie, but that's it, it's only cool in the movie, but the in-game flight control is like Gears of War's running meets Halo 3's mech suit. When you fly upwards that's all you can do FLY UPWARDS, but if you hold the left trigger you fly as if you were a boulder with wings. What I mean by that is that you fly like you weigh 900 pounds (which you technically do), but when you are flying your movement is so stiff you might as well be a little kid with super-strength throwing a rock that's remote controlled.

Well that's all I have to say today, thank you for reading.

Tell me how terrible I am at reviewing games at: internetcritic@gmail.com
Or insult me personally at: kingbling95@hotmail.com or AIM - Loredivine

Iron Man Movie Site
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IC and JG: Double Time Review

Here at IC, quality is first no matter what we're doing; quality is where we start off. In the past few days, quality and information has lacked somewhat, so in noticing this, and that Knight Rider didn't get reviewed by me, here's a double post by both me and Jesse. Well enjoy, and sorry for the delay of content.

Internet Critic checks out - Zero Punctuation

Mmmmm Wednesday joy, this show makes my wednesdays worth waking up for. You know that feeling when you feel deprived of deliciously tastefilled videos, well this man is what does it for me. On Wednesdays my little friend, Zero Punctuation, critiques some of the newest games of the week, but instead of doing it like the nerd where he records himself, he records MS Paint photos and plays them on The Escapist.com.

I really have to give him big props, no matter how many impersonators come around he always ups his game to come back at them. One of probably the only impersonators that does any good is Alhorian on Youtube. Our yellow back-ground hero(in) is extremely into video games, to the point where he sometimes goes without food just to play them.

It seems no matter how hard Australians try, they never get the good end of the stick, games are truly a fortune considering in the U.S., Rockband is $180 and in the Austrian Outback Marketplace (AOM for short) it costs over $300. This may be a downside, but with Zero Punc. covering what games are worth buying, such as Braid, he is truly necessary down there. Now I believe Fesse The Faggot wants to say something.

Jesse Guarascia in: iHate iTunes

Well the title kind of over-exaggerates what I'm saying, but it is true, iHate iTunes. Ok Apple explain to me why you think, just because the iPod and the iPhone start with a lower-case I, you can name the program to put songs on the devices iTunes. I guess saying, "My iTunes has like 1,000 songs", is better to say then "Yo my iPod has like 2,000 songs on it, I put them on with Song Applier Ver. 11.45.8."

While I'm talking about iTunes as a program, why the hell did Apple think it was a good idea to make every iPod have only one iTunes, and if it uses another one it deletes all of your songs. I mean I can understand that you could move files from one computer to another that contain viruses. Although that is a valid idea, does it really affect the fact that your friend may have a song you don't have but want, yeah well don't use your iPod or that'll be the only song you ever get to put on.

The final thing I have to point out is the iTunes Store. Ok the iTunes Store is basically a way to buy songs to put on your iPod from Apple themselves, what Apple obviously understands is that smart people know how to transfer songs from Limewire to iTunes. The store does have far better quality, and has movies and pod casts, most of which you can't legally download from Limewire and play on your iPod. That's all iHave to say, thank you for reading.

Email me at: internetcritic@gmail.com
IM me at: kingbling95@hotmail.com
AIM me at: Loredivine

Apple Website
Zero Punctuation
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Internet Critic covers - Heroes Season 3 Premeire

YAY!!! OMFG, this R the awesomest thing eva!!!!!!!!!!!!! Huh oh right yeah, okay let me stop sounding like a fanboy for a second, geeh, get a hold IC get a hold. Ok if you enjoy Superman, Batman, Wonderwoman, or if your a really devoted comic book fan, Flash, you will enjoy Heroes. Now here's how Heroes works out, a young man by the name of Peter Petrelli lives in New York as a nurse with his brother who's running for Congressman of New York, Nathan Petrelli. Peter believes that he is destined for greater things, and learns he and many of his friends have great powers, such as indestructibility, mind reading, and painting the future. Little does he know that what he thought was supposed to be a great step forward in his life, but is going to just end with sorrow, and sadness, as he learns the world is going to end at his hands. It's up to him and his new-found friends, to stop this crisis.

Now I've followed Heroes since Season 1, Episode 1, and have been a loyal fan, waiting since December 18th for this day that Heroes would come back. Every Monday in my home, regardless of what was on, I would force my mother and brother to do something else and stfu while I watch this, just to see the next installment of this engrossing story. The premiere of this show was a pretty interesting time in my home, me and my mother had to fight over who got to see what, either Heroes (the obvious winner or I couldn't tell you about it) or CSI: Miami (Epic Phail).

I have to say this right now, do not watch Heroes unless you've seen all of the episodes, there are parts of the show that need you to have a very good memory of what happened in the show, without spoiling anything, Peter shoots his brother but the beginning of the show explains why, with you needing to remember who is attacking and who is being shot for what reason. Some of the parts of the 2-Hour episode, such as the mother who's name escapes me, has a dream that leads to a completely different part of the future we had seen meaning "The Butterfly Effect" the name of the second part, makes sense.

Well to stop boring you I'm gonna head off now to leave you Heroes fans to find a site that has some episodes or go to Youtube to see the premiere to learn on your own, and to new fans I say go look for a way to see all of the episodes of this epic series, it's definetely worth the watch. I'm not going to rate this show because if I give it all 10's, the producer of 24 will bug the hell out of me and ask me to review 24, ewwww.

E-mail me at: chroniclesofvideogames@gmail.com
Im me at: kingbling95@hotmail.com
AIM me at: Loredivine

Heroes Main Website
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PC Gamers I Envy You

Hey Jesse Guarascia back again to post you some quality information, for no pay whatsoever. I speak for the entire new generation of gamers that we don't care much for PC Games. Then again, I do beleive you guys get the upper hand when it comes to some A+ games, Quake 4, most if not all of the Sims, and I guess some 360 ports with easier controls such as BioShock.

Here's why I envy you oh so amazing 39 year-old grandma boys, how the shit do you get PC games to run on common computers. Ok I own 2 computers, one for freeware gaming, and one for browsing the web and blogging. The first ones a Dell the other one is an HP Pavillion. Now yesterday I went out and bought a copy of Psychonauts for the PC, why because I can that's why. So right when I got back I opened it up took out CD 1 and loaded it up, when I did I had to do the whole put in Disc 2 then 3 and so on, once it was done I clicked Play Psychonauts on the splash screen, and I get a pop-up that reads, Psychonauts could create Device3D please ensure your video cards are installed and up-to-date.

Ok, so after that I make sure my cards are in and new and strong so I check out the site, all I get is make sure the cards are working, well of course there working dipshit or I couldn't read this. Well this is bullcrap, this is one of the reasons I don't PC game about unless there are no other ways to play the games. Some people rave Crysis for kicking ass, but really I could just play it on the PS3, now do mind the controls will suck monkey hair dipped in caramel but atleast I can play it. This also falls under the same level as Psychonauts, it's for the PS2 and the original Xbox and the XBLM (Xbox Live Marketplace) and Steam, so I don't have to spend $300 on all the video cards I would need, I can just spend like $70; $50 for the PS2 and $20 for Psychonauts.

I'm just gonna have to say if you have Alienware or a really high-end ass PC that your not using mail it to:

52 Cookie Monster Dr.
M&M P2T
Jesse Guarascia

Anyways that's all I have to say oh by the way, IC (Internet Critic) is coming back tommorrow to tell you all about the Season Premiere of Heroes, the best show ever, and that's all I have to say and thanks for reading.

E-mail me at: chroniclesofvideogames@gmail.com
IM me at: kingbling95@hotmail.com
AIM me at: Loredivine

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Psychonauts Website

Small Buisiness Sites

Hey IC (Intenet Critic), decided to take a break for the weekend, but I, Jesse Guarascia moderator of this blog, is still here to enthroll you. Ok that's enough trying to be smart and onto my point.

Well when you take a stroll down internet lane, you tend to see websites for buisinesses you've never heard of but in all honesty do you ever think to look at them. I mean really, do you care if Oshweken Toys and Electronics has a sale, of course not. When I look at the most searched sites on Google I see Youtube, Amazon, Yahoo, and of course the #1 reason people go on the internet, porn, but never DeRosaOnline.

Where I live, Hamilton, there are alot of small businesses ranging from barbers to painting services, some of them will eventually get out there, look at McDonalds, once a small buisness started up a decade or so ago, now it's a multi-million fattening corporation. Some major retailers for clothing, video games, and toys, don't even have websites, EBGames Canada holds no information whatsoever other than the price of some of the older games, where as EBGames.com has information, pricing, and hell even user reviews.

On the other hand if you're already a huge corporation to start off with much, much before you even start a site, you will get big hits if you advertise in your stores, do contests, and even give people the chance to submit content onto the site. Look at Teletoon.com and .ca they both have games, to keep the children enthrolled to their site of course, contests, to keep you coming back to the site to see new contests, and previews and such on new shows their showing. The marketing buisness is the #2 reason buisnesses, both large and small alike, make websites.

The #1 reason would be, to expand your business. If you have lets say 5 offices in the country, your not giving a widespread apeal, but if you have 50 offices nation wide you're gonna get looked at. Most new businesses can't afford that kind of investment, so to get noticed they have 1 of 2 options. 1 they can start giving out posters and T-Shirts to people who come in and they get advertising without having to pay the advertiser, or 2 they can start up a website at the cost of the registration fee, and probably a website engineer unless you know someone that will do it for free.

Building a website is becoming easier and easier, you just hit up a hosting website, sign-up with an existing e-mail, then choose the layout and design and your done, think about how many people go to a place where they want to know something about, to how many people just go ahead and Google it. Probably 20/80, but that's why if you have a couple of offices or buildings at your disposal you can get people that don't already know about your site .

Anyways that's all I have to say this Saturday, thanks for reading and IC will be back Monday for all of your internet and video game news.

E-mail me at: chroniclesofvideogames@gmail.com
IM me at: kingbling95@hotmail.com
AIM me at: Loredivine

Oshweken Toys and Electronics Site
McDonald's Site
Eb Games Canada
Eb Games

IC's Video Game Update- Kirby Super Star Ultra

Hey you guys, Internet Critic here, well thank you Ninty (Nintendo). Kirby has been a staple in most of Nintendo's party games such as Super Smash Bros. and a couple of sports games. Since his last couple of games have been, mediocre at best, and epic failure at least, Nintendo's newest Kirby for the DS has been released. Essentially Kirby Super Star Ultra is a rehashing of Kirby Super Star on the Super Nintendo Entertainment System, and some consider it one of the best Kirby games ever.

The game contains all of the 8 games the original had, although it actually contained 9 games, the box said 8. Now we move onto what I'm going to dislike about this game, that it's a remake. The remake department is where all useless minds of gaming come to try to make an old game fresh again. One of the company's I can think of who does this alot is the company who developed this remake, Nintendo. They didn't just do this and a couple of other games, they do this constantly, look at The Legend of Zelda, you get a sword, some weapons, slice people, kill Ganon or Ganondorf, depends on the game, and save Zelda, we've done that what 41 times now. Trust me when I say this you can only sit on Goomba's so many times before you wanna say "Umm where's the turret."

Anyways that's all I have to say for now, I wish you the best for this week, and have fun on the interwebs. Also really fast before I go check out the video below it's on the history of Kirby and I will be gone all weekend, you know parties.

Email me at: Chroniclesofvideogames@gmail.com (O.K. it's my old youtube name)

IM me at: Kingbling95@hotmail.com (I was 9 what do you want)

AIM me at: Loredivine (I still don't get it)

Gaming Historian - History of Kirby

Hotz Explosion

Hey, Internet Critic here today, Jesse Guarascia wants to post. Goddamn it Jesse just write it already, eh stop crying and do it BIOTCH!!! Oh we're still on, I said press the big OFF AIR button you retard. Ok here's Jesse. Hey guys, if you live in Hamilton, happen to pick-up on CHCH news, or just heard about this story on the internet, Hotz Enviromantal Plant on Lottridge Street, had a chlorine fire. This doesn't really matter though as it was small, but where it was, was my major concern. Lottridge Street is one of the most mainstream streets in all of Hamilton, Main is of course at the top. Lottridge has alot of houses just on the west end, it also holds a McDonalds, a variety store, a Dairy Queen, and a computer repairs and hardware shop. Meaning not only homes were at risk but small and large businesses were at stake.

Another thing that's not as important to most people, but is to me, is that my friend Justin Forsyth lives directly next to the building, and at the time he had two of my other friends, Denzil Davidson and Jordan something that's extremely long. Anyways I'm gonna stop talking about that and get back to the incident.

Ok, another thing that might interest the hippies who own computers, the chlorine fire was starting from it being fused not intentionally but fused. Somehow the chemicals in the water at the building reacted with the chlorine and fire got on it, then the fire grew. Which basically means that the entire plant and all of Lottridge to Barton was evacuated, meaning there are extremely toxic chemicals still rolling around in the air. This means if the same X amount of chlorine touches Y amount of the chemicals, let's say a large cloud of chemicals, 4ml at best, touches a small pool in a persons backyard that's 50 gallons depending on size, and a smoker throws their light and it hits water off the pool, goes up and into the infected pool, there could be an extremely large epidemic.

Most people will chart this off as a "coincidence", but what are the chances that a building with hundreds of workers, manages to lose some of the watery runoff in the plant, the runoff contains chemicals, that just happens to poorly react together with chlorine, then fire just happens to reach it. Well that's my opinion, thanks for reading.

God Jesse, learn to stop talking for a damn second. Well now that he's done I think I, the Internet Critic, are gonna just head off now and shut down the production of this post. Well that's all folks, copyrighting optional.

Email me at: chroniclesofvideogames@gmail.com (Don't ask)
IM me at: kingbling95@hotmail.com (Really don't ask)
AIM me at: loredivine (I don't get it)

And catch the original story at www.CHCH.com (look for yourself ya lazy)

Internet Critic tries out SwagBucks

Hmph, wow just wow. I like free stuff as much as the next guy, but really do they need this many damn websites. Gaming Lagoon, Prize Rebel, Rewards1, the list fucking goes on and on. Some of them truly are scamming you, with fake testimonials, and contest where people don't actually win. Although this truly stupid group of people exists on the internet I have found a website that truly gives what they are promising.

The site is called SwagBucks, why I don't really know. Oh wait maybe because you purchase Swag from the site with Bucks you get from searching, thus SwagBucks. Trust me I do not lie to my readers and I will not lie to anybody this site gives you free stuff. I swear on my life if you use it test it out, get one of the rock pictures, mine was of Linkin Park, and order it, it usually takes 6-8 days from experience.

The concept is simple, search and win, but it's alittle more complex then typing a,b,c and so on until you win. Here's a couple of tips to win points well, search at a good pace and search things that you wouldn't search regularly. You can 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 swag bucks at one time.

Ok off of tips and back onto the review. Another thing I should note is that you can win points from recycling old cellphones. Of the course the cellphone idea is kind of like, spend tons of money on a new cellphone, get rid of an old one lying around in your house, and get some points. If you have something old you might as well get payed to get rid of it right.

One final thing I'll say before my final verdict, is that the price of some products is ridiculous. Why is Hannah Montana for the Wii 20 SwagBucks more than Halo 3 on the Xbox 360. That's not my only gripe, you only get 20 searches a day to win points so you have to search a tiny bit on swagbucks and it's usually only 1 point per search. The only way to prevent getting 10 points a week and try to get 4000 points to get an Xbox 360 Elite, which by the way would take...... 10 a week by 4000 points 10 divided by 4000..... it would take 400 weeks.

Well that's all I have to say for now thanks for reading and if you would like to recommend some different games or programs to review please email me at internetcritic@gmail.com or personally IM me at kingbling95@hotmail.com.

Video Game Review - Combat Arms

Ok cool, so I've finally taken the time to play an mmofps. Ok Combat Arms, it's essentialy a free. version of Call of Duty 4, although it's extremely scaled down the weapons suck ass, and the graphics look like a really bad PS1 original graphics engine. Ok really the game is fun the only problem is that compared to other online FPS', like GunZ, it's just not up to snuff.

Although it's not GunZ Glory, it's not without it's W1N P0W3R, (leet speak optional). The game, instead of needing you to pay with real cash for say FAKE CASH, allows you to get through the whole entire game and get to the top rank, simply using store bought items. You do have the option to pay for some items with Nexon Cash, which is kind of redundant considering you can, like I just said, play and get money to buy almost all of the gear with.

It doesn't really succeed with anything else, the game it's trying to rip off isn't being ripped off, it's just being acted like. COD4 has perks and you can chose what equipments you want, with Combat Arms you get the same thing without the perk idea, but you get ALOT of equipment. I mean a lot. Something I find a little pointless about the equipment is the sun glasses. The sunglasses do nothing whatsoever I mean nothing, they don't increase sight, zoom, or allows you to detect enemy health or anything, all they do is make you look cool.

You should also notice this game follows every other fps game, the range of grenades kicks ass. Instead of in COD4 where you need to be a pro linebacker to outrun the damn splash, you can walk outside or be a couple of yards away from the grenade to stop the fatal attack. I mean really if you've played COD4 the matrydom perk on Vacant or Shipment, the 2 most enclosed maps in the whole game, you literally can't walk around for 5 seconds without getting killed from the grenade splashAnd finally the number one thing that makes me dislike this game and any online fps, the controls suck ass. Ok heres how it works, left click shoot, right click zoom, scroll click melee, mouse movement moves camera, q and e to scroll from primary to secondary weapon, x for grenade, and w a s d to walk around. This game completely screws that up, heres how they do it, left click shoot, right click zoom, press 3 then shoot for melee, mouse movement for camera, 1 and 2 to switch from primary and secondary weapons, 4 for grenade then click fire, and w a s d to walk around. What the hell man yes you can change the controls around to fix it but who has the time to do that, most FPS players just wanna shoot a bitch.

Final Verdict:

Download it if you like COD4 but don't wanna play for Xbox Live, it's truly fun but doesn't try to hard, better choice would be GunZ or perhaps go pay 50 dollars for a Xbox Live Gold Membership you lazy.....

Score:

Cost - 10

Customization - 8

Combat Engine - 7

Controls - 5

Final Score - 7

For future program or software reviews email me at internetcritic@gmail.com

or personally IM me at kingbling95@hotmail.com

I am now the Internet Critic

Hello and welcome to another exciting day here at Guarascia Home Blog, although there's no news I always have something to talk about in my free time. Like this, I have finally found what I'm going to talk about, the Internet. Yeah yeah I know I already talk about that stuff, but now 95% of the time this'll be all I talk about. Every day Monday to Saturday, I'll be either reviewing some new or old software or games usually freeware and whatever looks interesting, or websites. On Sundays though I'll do some searching and write on something interesting.

Well this is my first post as the Internet Critic, thanks for reading and you can share your ideas on what internet programs and games you would like me to either review or rant about, and to talk to me personally email me at chroniclesofvideogames@gmail.com.

OR:

By MSN - kingbling95@hotmail.com
By AIM - Loredivine

Update to my Google Chrome Review

Ok well hmmm how do I say this, I lied, sorta. Ok my Google Chrome review has now taught me to never review ANYTHING, after being released for less than a week. This happened with Grand Theft Auto 4 everyone in the gaming world who got it either 1 day or 2 or 3 days before it released and when they reviewed it they gave it 10/10 or said "If god was to share his vast bounty and wisdom with the world, we would have GTA IV." Not in those exact words mind you, but you get the jist. Now that I've seen that Google Chrome crashes alot, probably entailing to the fact that it's still in BETA, so I've decided to switch over to Safari.

Ok back to Safari. Safari has a pretty good idea going for itself, it gives you the major websites as bookmarks automatically, something Chrome and IE and Firefox are lacking. It is essentially for Mac's but it seems to move incredibly quick as compared to IE or Chrome, Firefox I'm not sure because I don't use it anymore. Hell if Safari was any faster I would have to sign that petition to ban IE. I'm not saying right now that I think Safari is the only web browser you should be using, but if I find a couple of problems I'll be sure to write them done here.

Oh and before I say "Good you read what I wrote go back to Google searching free porn." I would like to say to the man Jack Xu or how ever you spell it, if I checked I could be labeled boring legally, who commented on my Stephane Dion post. I agree with you in every way, Laton and Dion deserve the crappy votes there getting and if they somehow magically reduce Harper to such a low stance that he admits he's gay, I'll have to stop trusting Harper and the entire conservative party.

Stephane Dion Website Attack Ad

Ok if you live in Canada, or care for that matter, there has been a new election for Prime Minister. This is against, mainly Conservative leader and current Prime Minister Steven Harper, NDP Leader Jack Laton (I don't know how to spell it), and Liberal leader Stephane Dion. Now Harper I beleive had his board members write some new material on the Conservative website, this material just happened to be an attack ad, towards the one and only Jesse Guarascia de Urena, I mean uhh Stephane Dion. While we were watching the local news, I saw that the website ad consisted of Stephane Dion some un-important information about his past and his thought's on how the goverment should be run, which were all being completely debunked as stupid.

If I recall from an episode of Family Guy, the undecided voter will vote for the stupidest person in the game, so Harper will get all of the votes. Instead of making some compelling points about how smart his opponent is but that you can do better, he simply does what I said, shows Dion and calls his ideas stupid, but he also shows a bird taking little white canary dumps on Dion's shoulder. When I was speaking to my mother she didn't get it, neither did I all he did was make fun of him and show a bird pooping on him.

I just think Harper could have atleast put a little damn thought or got his site managers, to put a little thought into making and attack ad. If he did I think I could respect him a little bit, but you know if the undecided voter wasn't such a retard we wouldn't have to deal with this bullcrap. Anyways that just my opinion and thanks for reading.

Bleach vs. Naruto

O.K. for the people who actually read the text that I put on a flimsy blog, which is 13 is I read the counter correctly, you'll know that I do mainly software and program reviews at the moment and sometimes just I talk about my day. Now I'm falling as far as I can into the nerdom of the interwebs, anime. Ok anime is a cartoon based off of a magazine like book known as Manga, such as King of Tennis or Yu-Yu Hakusho (is that correct I really don't know.)

Those examples are only for hardcore anime fans that have followed manga since it's U.S. or U.K. inception, cause if you cared since it's start in Japan then you'd be reading this in that shiny white house that god lives in appearently. Bleach and Naruto are the #1 anime/mangas to get people started, like Spongebob Squarepants or Mario Party are shows and games to get people into each of the 2 mediums. A couple years back me and my bud Ryan started watching some Naruto and Bleach because everytime we went to the youtube homepage I see Bleach and Naruto in the most watched videos section. So we went on AnimeHub and watched a bunch of episodes and of Naruto and then like 2 episodes of Bleach the first and then the second.

Well instead of stalling let me get to the main point of my argument. "What is it?", asks the oblivious and somewhat retarded reader. Well it's what anime/manga is better Bleach or Naruto. Well I guess to truly prove my opinion on the matter, I'll have to show each sides of the group.

OK I would but think about it your bored because you looking through all of these gay ass blogs but whatever. So if you would kindly take the time to vote that would highly appreciated, thanks for reading.

-Jesse Guarascia

Google Chrome Beta Review

Hey guys, if you live in one the major countries or one of the 100 google institued you probably downloaded the new web browser from google, Google Chrome. This web browser is marketed as a competor to IE but i think they asked Microsoft for the script code from IE (internet explorer). The interface is the same, there's no add-ons like Firefox and the tabs are still so simple to use as long as you have a toe you can make one, but there are some things that are better.

Such as the fact that you can encode websites into different languages if they have accepted the ability to alter the text the correct encoding (i.e: a German website that want's to be translated to english will change it's encoding to be able to translate to english). Another cool thing it can do is it has the ability to make a shortcut that can be placed on your desktop that will automatically link your website of choice. The final cool thing is that it's actually FASTER than IE and Firefox and it's still in beta, infact that's what I'm talking to you through). There were also 2 other features it contained, 1 is incognito which allows you to open web pages and they wont show up in your history (for all you..... cat watchers out there). The 2nd one is that it can actually copy links from different areas such as picture URL's you want without having to open the page, copy paste the link in the adress bar and bring it over to, now you can just right click and copy link then paste to wherever you want. 

Although this browser is AMAZING I still have some major gripes which also fall under the same catagories as my gmail rant. See: http://guarasciabloghome.blogspot.com/2008/08/gmail-sucks.html . Such as the fact that they disallow ALOT of cookies sometimes major ones such as blogger, that was the only major on I saw but I'm sure theres more. They also don't give you the home page button on the address bar right away you have to put on yourself. Also whenever you make a new favourite it isnt just a favourite you can access from a favourite's area on your address bar, it's placed in the quick links bar, so it could be filled up REALLY FAST.

Anyways, thats the last thing I have to say about this other than the final verdict.

Final Verdict:

Go download it. If you don't god will come down and kick in your balls until you die. The software is simple but has alot of useful interfaces. (Also note all of this review was conducted solely on the BETA version of the software program, all readers of the full release of the initiated software's full version must be diregarded from this review.)

Score:

Interface: 9

Accessability:9

Speed:10

Final Score: 9.5

AVG Anti-Virus System Review

Ok, as I speak to you my secondary computer is filled with virus', but I expect it to be fixed from AVG Anti-Virus System.

This program is free to most people unless you want true all around addware spyware blocking, you have to buy it. The program itself is extremely simple to use all you have to do is click computer scan and there you go you've got it going, now unlike most free download spyware and addware blocking programs this one isn't one that's actually going to GIVE you the virus you were trying to get rid of infact I use this more than Windows Defender to get rid of multiple virus'.  Although my version is free, it still is completely fast and powerful.

It's Scanning is phenomenal, it doesnt scan just folders or areas (although you have to choice to do that), it scans every single file in all areas, no matter how small or how large. They find the files with under-protection scripts, with I beleive it's own C++ programming. If the other programs such as Norton or the free trial of Windows Defender you will be forced to only scan areas at a time. Also AVG has the ability to speed up to go through the coding and only scan areas that stick out, you can choose moderate for coding or encrypting that stands out and looks for files that are infected (usually cookies), and the last is slow so it can search through the entire code incase there is something you need to hide from the search so the program doesn't delete it thinking it's an infected code.

There are some flaws such as the length of scans. The scans are truly very slow as compared to Norton Anti-Virus and Windows Defender. The moderate scan is approx. 20 mins. for 80,000 files, where as Windows Defender does about 75,000 in 10 minutes. Another one, and this is refering to the free version of the program, is the lack of ability to delete critical level infections such as Trogan programs that try to hack through your "back door".

Overview:
This program is amazing for a free adware spyware blocker as compared to most which look like they work but end up giving you the virus' you were trying to get rid of. The scan ability is strong enough to read all files specifically but takes forever for it to finish even on the fastest speed as compared to Norton Anti-Virus and Windows Defender. It also lacks the ability to delete critical file infections.

Final Verdict:
Great program on it's on, but far better, far faster and far stronger, with pay for programs such as Norton and free programs from Microsoft such as Windows Defender. I highly reccomend this program.

Rating:
Scanning Ability: 8
Scanning Time: 5
Infection Deletion Power: 6
Total Score: 7/10

Aww man, I am tired!!

Ok before I die of energy loss, let me tell you what I did all day, ok well first pretaining from last nights post ending, where I said I got really tired and fell asleep on the bus and in Swiss Chalet, I got home at about 10 and just threw myself at the couch and died, just flat out burned to sleep ( yeah I don't know what that means ). Anyways, ok so I had to get up at 6:00 am so I could go to London, Ontario, and hang out at this race with my cousin. I did a race with him and he had to put lipstick on me, lucky prick, and he won a prize of a plastic guitar, a microphone and stand, a Brittany Spears fag headset, and an amp, so it was Rock Band for 7 year olds, minus the amp. after that we went back to his uncles trailer, by the way I was in a trailer park whilst doing this, and we played around with it. The guiter seemed to work fine, as well as the mic ( even thought it didn't really pick up on anything ) and eventually the headset broke because it was so flimsy.

So we got bored and went back to the races so me and my bro could do one to win a Skateboard game that you plug in to your T.V. We had to run to our oppisite so I had to rn to my bro and he had to run to me he flew over broke it then I ran supa-fasta and broke mine I think with my butt, I dunno couldn't tell from all of the fat in the way. So we won the game plugged it into the tv and it worked preety well, you lean left and right and control the skateboard by doing tricks on them depending on how we lean and how fast you press one of these buttons on the control pad. So we left and came home and now I'm typing, so yeah thanks for reading.

Jesse Guarascia

I went before-school shopping woot!!!

Hey you guys I just wanted to tell you my favourite parts of going to the mall to buy some stuff for school. Well I myself have bought a notebook, an orginizer, a planner, and some shoes. Yeah the essentials. Anyways, one of my favourite parts was when I was on the bus there. There were I think 3 teenagers who got on the bus, all girls, and they were being harrassed by some guys. I mean holy jesus christ seriously do you need to yell at any and all girls, until your idiotic friends laugh there asses off because there sooooooo stoned. Yeah they were selling something I think it was weed.

Ok well, after that funness ( is that a word I'm really not sure ) I did the shopping. I got some Nike Zoom shoes, which look really cool, and umm after that I got some school bags one was a greyish one with a long strap ( yeah it's a messenger bag, for laptops ), and the other was red. Then after that I got a McFlurry and nothing else of ANY interest happened, then I went to Swiss Chalet then I came home and now I'm blogging on my day.

Thanks for reading.

Gmail Sucks

Gmail promises they have no spam whatsoever but I receive maybe 5 spam messages in my inbox which is weird, because when they advertise there website they promise that delete any and all spam. Really, ALL SPAM. Ha I beg to differ and it's not just the inbox spam, if they delete any and all spam then why is there a spam inbox.

I'm guessing it's because you might get an email counted as spam when you sign-up to a website, but how about they develope some software that finds spam websites. I mean this thing is run by GOOGLE. These guys own Youtube and the best search engine on the web, but they can't use that search engine in order to find websites that send spam to people inbox's when they sign up. I'm not a code engineer or anything so I can't argue at how difficult it may be to run all of these sites and programs, for FREE, but seriously Google if one of your webmasters or coders for gmail are reading this, figure out what is spam, and what isn't.

Wassup and explanation to the title

Ok wazzup people's. That is all. Oh right the explanation of the title ok well this website is pretaining to me Jesse GUARASCIA and this is my BLOG HOME so I thought hmmm I wonder if the nicks'll win the world series hell yeah. Then I thought oh I'll name my blog Guarascia Blog Home so I did. Well once again welcome.