Internet Critic

Dead Rising 2 ?

2009-02-08T09:40:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here, taking you off-topic every step of the way. Yes, it seems like trailers are the big ticket this month and last, with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Year One, and now Dead Rising 2 this month. Watching this trailer for the first time on Youtube, only to find that it was probably one of those fake movie maker videos, but then watching it I had an epiphany, and it was actually the real video. That's right, after a couple of major websites documenting it, and saying it's real, it definitely has to be real. Watch for yourself and tell me if you think it's real or not.

Dead Rising 2?

After a more in-depth look at it, and after viewing every video game review by a 12 year old, it looks like they recorded this trailer off of a television with a shitty camera. That may be the capture style the developers were looking for, but I don't know I didn't make it. I would have to totally disagree that this is Dead Rising 2's trailer, I believe it's just Dead Rising: Chop 'Till You Drop scenes glued together with some crappy effects.

Well, this has been the Internet Critic, bringing you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. What do you think? Is this the real trailer? Is this just a gimmick? Do you think that Capcom shouldn't even make a sequel to an already magnificent game? E-mail or comment responses are all read. Also, be sure to follow me on Twitter, and Facebook at the links below. Thanks for reading.

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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Trailer

2009-02-05T18:45:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here, taking you off topic, every step of the way. Now, before I get started I want to point out a very noticeable flaw in the title. Whenever you read "Revenge", in the title of anything, you already know that it's a sequel, and then you throw "Fallen" in there somewhere, then you know your into some trouble. Nobody saw the real trailer for this movie until the Super Bowl, and it was probably the biggest highlight moment next to the Cash4Gold commercial, but it was still a bitch to find on Youtube. Allow me to explain.

When a movie that sold Billy-oh at the box office, gets a sequel announced, it's obviously going to be hyped over. This is when everyone on Youtube clamors for their version of Windows Movie Maker, gets some really action-packed film clips, and mold them together to make the greatest fan-made video in existence. This has been happening since the existence of parody, look at NigaHiga, they've done it a couple of times already with Twilight and other movies, those Asian bastards. So if someone famous does it as a joke, the "underdogs" of Youtube come out and make their own "Official Spider-Man 4 Trailer", with some clips that just happen to have the same actor in it.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Super Bowl Advertisement

Anyways, it's time to put the Transformers keyboard overlay for a couple of seconds.... OMG THAT IS AMAZING, LOOK AT SAM, LOOK AT THE ENEMIES, OMG!!!!!.... and we're back. It does look really exciting and makes you wonder what's really going to happen to the protagonists of every ones favourite robotic Shaquille O'Neil wanna-be's. If anyone can answer this for me please do, I'd really like to know. Who in the living hell is the robot with the big wheel where his cock should be, I've never seen him before, and he is ginormous as a mother-fucker!!!

One big giveaway this movie throws out there, which also contrasts with my whole "Revenge" and "Fallen" theories, is that if you pause at about 17 or 18 seconds, you see a small glimpse of who might be Megatron. If I may put my overlay back on... ahem.... If the all-spark is too much power to comprehend for one robot, then why there is no way that Megatron could possibly come back, also, being submerged in water for that much time, would of fried his circuits if there were any left. Thus proving the fact that there is no Megatron, merely his evil twin brother Nortagem of Nortrebyc.

Well this has been Internet Critic, bringing you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. I hope you enjoyed this post it was very difficult to find the original video for you guys, but I'll leave you this really funny gag video I found on Youtube while on my hunt for the All-Spark... I mean Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen trailer. Remember to e-mail me, and ask me some question, cause that inbox is just filled with crap right now.

"Official" Transformers 2 Trailer

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Ask Me Some Questions

2009-02-03T19:57:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Have you guys ever wanted to know something personal about me? Have you ever wondered why I've never shown my voice on the Internet? Or maybe why you've never seen my face? Well now's your chance to ask me some questions. They can be about almost anything, except when I'm making another post. The answer to that is I just do them when something interesting pops into my mind.

Why am I doing this? Well there are a couple of reasons. I spent 5 minutes of my life making an e-mail account, and all I get in it are all of these Twitter adds and other crap for websites I've signed up for to review for you ungrateful bastards. Getting feedback is one of the greatest things on the Internet, it lets you know what people think about you, and that people actually even care about the crap you release every day or 2.

Youtube is a big representer of the whole feedback thing. The comments and video responses are one of their longest time spent things, regardless of what they think they should be doing. They always have something new to add to the commentary updates, video reviews are now more noticeable on videos, and comments can be deleted by the person who wrote them.

I think I'm going to try to shut up, because this is just a short post that I felt like throwing out there for you guys to read, and so I could get some more fucking e-mails. I mean seriously, I post my e-mail, my IM, my AIM, my Gamertag, my Twitter account (which is the only thing that seems to do anything), and my Facebook page, and almost nothing happens on them. Do you have any idea how much time and effort I have to put into making those pages for you guys to read about? ALOT!!!!!!1!111!!!!!1!!!!!!!shfit+one!! (I apoligize, I've just always loved that).

Anyways, this has been Internet Critic, and remember, baby's aren't always the only cutest thing on earth, sometimes old people can be cute too.... sometimes. I hope you enjoyed that little post, and I hope to get some commentary from my readers. I accept any and all comment and e-mail responses, and most of the time I respond to them as well. E-mail me below, IM me, AIM me, Direct Message me on Twitter, whatever just please do something with my inboxes, they're running dry on porn website sign-ups.

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Xbox Live Community

2009-01-29T20:15:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. So I have a question for you gamers out there. When you buy an Xbox 360, it comes with a headset right? Okay, so why don't any of you use the damn thing!!! I'm playing a quick game of Left 4 Dead online, expecting to get a fun little conversation that I get to have between 2 or 3 new people I've never met, but no, you all neglect that fun little white and gray headset on your end-table you never use. I'm just saying, if your going to pay for a system that comes with online specific hardware, and your just not going to use, why not just buy a $10 microphone head-set combo, and a $5 Ethernet cable, then you don't have to spend that extra $50 dollars for just a memory set.

The online community on Xbox Live is anything but kind. I do enjoy getting the ability to talk to people online, but when I finally do, it's not a lively conversation, it ends up being a really shitty argument we're having over who's the better Halo 3 player, where as I don't even play the game. This ends up being one of the main reasons gamers aren't respected as much as readers. When we meet new people, we tend to try to act bigger than each other, and don't share the same game play styles, just hacking or actually playing the game.

I don't myself try to announce online that I have a heavy amount of achievements or I have all the games, or I beat the ever so infamous Soulja Boy at Halo 3, because I have enough respect to consider the fact that "Hey, they might not give 2 shits." One my favourite things though, is the young children who play, but swear so incredulously much that some of the teenagers tell them to shut the hell up. Also this leads into a totally different post for a totally different day, but are parents still seriously letting their children play Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, even though at one point in the story mode you get to snap a dog's neck?

On Live you have a couple of choices of how you talk to your friends online, in the game, or in a party. In the game, if your trying to have a private conversation, then it's not exactly private now is it. On the other end in Party mode, you can play and talk to your friends in private, but if you try to insult someone in private, that's a pretty pussy move. The hate that happens on Xbox Live can get pretty sad from

time to time, but we all have to deal with that crap once in a while. You get private messages of people calling you a fag, a gay asshole, a total nub, or something else extremely untrue and profound, just because you may have gotten a higher score then them doing something they consider unfair.

One of the big community events that Microsoft pulls off for us ungrateful bastards, is the Game with Fame event each month, where you play with uber famous stars such as Rihanna, Soulja Boy, and so many more well-known to infamous actors to the human world. This may be really cool, but Microsoft is the Donald Trump of the computer world, they could afford Jesus Christ to play Uno online if they wanted to, but they don't, they get game specific celebrities instead of somewhat famous celebrities to match the game. All I'm waiting for is them to get the Angry Video Game Nerd to play a couple of matches of Left 4 Dead or something so I can see how good he really is, or even better, Jack Black for Guitar Hero: World Tour... That.... Would... Be.... Awesome.

Well, that was interesting now wasn't it. Anyways, this has been Internet Critic, and remember, I don't just write words, I write numbers and punctuation sometimes too. Do you enjoy Xbox Live? Do you hate those cocky players online? Are you one of them once and a while? Be sure to E-mail me answers to these and many other questions at the e-mail below. Also, follow me on Twitter and find me on Facebook at the links below. Now I also have a new addition to the information sharing for this blog, and that's my Xbox Live Gamertag, which is shown below. Thank you for reading, and you be good little gamers now.... and chainsaw bayonet some faces off for me, kay' doll face ;).

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IC's Youtube Pick of The Week: StormDainProductions

2009-01-28T19:36:00.007-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. This is probably my first on-time Youtube Pick of the Week, most of them I end up doing the next week. There are 2 reasons for that, I'm lazy, and I really don't think it's a necessary weekly occurrence. Anyways, the last one I did was a month ago, so it's time to bring it back up, considering Muffins isn't exactly what I would like that last post to be about.

You guys probably like video games, so you probably read and watch video game reviews, and when it comes down to the ladder of the 2, StormDainProductions, he's got it pretty down-pact. He uses a mild form of humour mixed together with an even lighter form of controlled attention span. Storm can get off topic from time to time, but he always tends to pull it off, much better than some people *cough* WIIVIEWER *cough*. Anyways this of his newest video which is sure to be the Prince of the Reviews.

StormDainProductions - Storm's Adventure with Prince of Persia

Storm states on his page, " My adventures are only called adventures because everybody does reviews, and I've always tried to be different." Now outside of reviewing games he works as a programmer and a Gambling Company as a mechanic. Not an illustrious job, but it gives him the money to keep on doing these reviews. Before I end off this post with my usual sign-off, I want to say one thing. In one of his previous reviews, Storm stated he was late on reviews because someone he loved was almost killed in an accident. After hearing this, my first thought was to check out his comments page to see if he had any updates about his friend, and I see this.

"Hey Storm, i know how you've had a lot of crap in your life recently, but things could be a lot worse. Your friend could of died in that accident, your entire apartment building could of flooded etc. So come on, you've still got two arms, two legs, and a good head on your shoulders. Eagerly awaiting your next review." And then has the audacity to apologize about it, and say that it was some kind of "pep talk", MOTUG252, you sir are now on my hit-list, so be sure to see your name being disgraced on here multiple times.

Well, was that enjoyable, probably. Anyways, this has been Internet Critic, and remember, I don't just write text, I also write numbers and punctuation from time to time. Do you like StormDainProductions? Do you have any Youtube accounts that you would like me to showcase on here? E-mail those answers and much, much more, to the e-mail below. Follow me on Twitter, or maybe follow me on Facebook if your 17 and actually use Facebook. Also, if your wondering, his name is actually Storm Dain... I know it's weird.

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Internet Critic Reviews: ThatGuyWithTheGlasses

2009-01-28T19:36:00.006-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. It looks like I'm pulling out all of the old crap I haven't done in a while, eh. This is the second website review in a row now, and I hope to continue to do them, but I've got to stop doing the same thing over and over again. Anyways, ThatGuyWithTheGlasses is the hot topic for this post. He started on Youtube as the Nostalgic Critic under this account name: NostalgiaAVGNfan, which in my opinion isn't exactly an account name that famous people become of, usually that is the kind of name they post uncopy-righted videos, but no, he has some really funny and original content on there, and now he's becoming growingly more and more famous.

ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com started in June 2008, around the same time as the Youtube channel, where his first performance was given (not on that channel though mind you), and now he truly is very famous. There's one problem with the end of that sentence, if he's so famous, how come I've never heard of his glasses wearing ass. I just recently found out about him, while performing a search on some AVGN videos, and then he popped-up out of nowhere. After watching his truly comical video series known as the Nostaligic Critic, I thought I'd checked one video I hadn't seen yet... and this video changed my entire perception towards both this critic, and AVGN.

The video that I found randomly on NostalgiaAVGNfan's account... was.... NOSTALGIA CRITIC vs. THE ANGRY VIDEO GAME NERD!!!????!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!!!!?!?? It's like, what the fuck, look at Nostalgia Critic's Youtube account name, it distinctly says AVGNfan right in the damn thing, so why are they fighting. So after completion of watching the group of the videos, I noticed it was just a joke, and a good one at that, it was a clever way to get AVGN's fans to check out Nostalgia Critic, and it finally answers the ultimate question of all time, which is harder to review, movies or video games?

Well Mr. Nostalgia Critic... IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME! I have a damn well useful bag of bones to pick with you. What the fucking hell man, I already had dibs on the whole critic thing, also, I thought we already talked about this, over excessive swearing doesn't get you anywhere on the Internet, without also being funny while doing it, you have the first part down. While I wait for the large group of black people in the background to stop going "OH!!!!", how about I do a little something I don't usually do, I challenge you, Mr. Nostalgia Critic, to the ultimate battle.. I battle you to go one entire video without swearing once, if you accept my challenge and complete it, then you shall give me one challenge, anything you wish. If you cannot complete this task, you are striped of your Critic label, as was I, and you may choose my consequence.

Anyways, this has been the Internet Critic bringing you some quality information, so you don't have to. I really hope he reads this, and accepts it, because I don't believe this prick-head can go a whole video without swearing at least once. Do you have any comment to make towards this? Do you think I'm copying Nostalgia Critic by making him do a challenge of my choice? Am I being a total prick by asking these kind of questions at the end of each post? Be sure to answer those question, and give me some of your own ideas, then e-mail me or comment below. Be sure to follow me on Twitter and find me on Facebook at the links below. Thanks for reading.

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Internet Critic Reviews: iRazoo

2009-01-27T19:33:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. I haven't done one of these in the longest time, a review of a website. Now now, some of you know what this website is, and your first accusation is probably "Oh, he's only doing this because he knows people will sign-up under him, then he gets points." Although that is a very true fact, I'm not going to do that for two reasons. 1. If I did do that, then I would be neglecting people who look for quality information... for absolutely no pay whatsoever, and 2. It's only 50 points I get extra, when I need 4500 just to get the first possible prize, so it's pointless.

Searching on the web has always been limited to simple websites such as Google, Yahoo! (I don't see why the exclamation mark is necessary.), and Live Search. Now with the algorithm Google and Yahoo! use found, and I still don't know how this happened, but whatever, some basic coders have made their own search engines to profit off of. A couple of those that I am aware of at the moment are: Winzy, SwagBucks, and the very obvious iRazoo. I don't see why people would want to make a search engine other than to profit, in fact, I believe that is the whole reason as to why the Internet was invented; it's just another medium in order to make money.

Here's the basic concept of iRazoo. You sign up and search a couple of times a day, you might randomly be rewarded with an Amazon Gift Certificate, usually 5 dollars, and after you search, you go to your site, and rate it a yes or no and your are given some points which you also gain from doing searches, and eventually down the road you refer people and they sign-up giving you and them an additional 50 points. Your limited to only earning 100 points, but the amount of points you earn from referrals is unlimited, and they heavily stress this advertising it almost everywhere that it seems fit. And that's essentially it, except for the way to receive money from signing up to sites that cost you money, so you gain some points.

Now your probably wondering what these prizes are? Well they're definitely not as illustrious as the prizes on SwagBucks, but they're still prized. They range from iPods, Gift Cards, Digital Cameras, and Video Game Console, but no actual video games. The amount of points you have to rack up is ridiculous, all of the video game consoles are 100000 points, which is outrageous, but understandable considering you automatically earn 100 points a day, but it also means you could have to do that for 1000 days to earn all of the points necessary. I've figured out a little cheat which I will show below.

73000 points = iPod Video referral = 50 points 73000/50 = 1460

Now what does this mean? Well you can make new e-mail accounts, and e-mail your referral link to them, and then get 50 points without having to get a friend to sign-up under you. So the algorithm above means that if you make 1460 accounts, then you will be able to buy an iPod Video. It takes me about 3 minutes to make a Gmail account, so the rest of the algorithm would read:

1460 * 3 minutes = 4380 minutes 4380 minutes = 73 hours

So if you have 73 hours to waste throughout a couple of weeks by separating it, you could get an iPod Video in almost no time... Yeah I know I'm probably one of the biggest math nerds for doing that. Anyways, what's my final verdict on iRazoo, it's a reliable website for people who have enough patience to do this for that long without self-referring. I would really love to say this website gives what it promises, but I haven't received anything from them yet, but the day that I do I will announce it on here, and if I don't, then I'm going to have to neglect them for quite some time, and maybe even complain. Shhh on the last part, I want to keep that one a secret.

Anyways, this has been Internet Critic, thank you for reading and be sure to comment and e-mail me with your own opinion, or maybe even drop me an idea you'd like to see me talk about on here. Do you have any other websites that I should review? Is the world falling into a kind of place where we just copy others and profit off of it? What else do you think towards this post, because I'm to tired to think right now? Be sure to follow me on Twitter and find me on Facebook as well, thanks for reading.

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Young Children with Relationships

2009-01-26T19:04:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. There was really nothing interesting that happened today, well at least not for me anyways, so I thought I would just talk about an issue I'm seeing occur with younger children recently, relationships. Why? Why do you children believe that having a relationship is cool, dating someone that you "like", at the age of say 17 makes sense, but when your 12 or 13, that's a totally different story. You don't know who you love yet, and you definitely don't have a strong enough understanding of that word to say it yet.

Love is something that two people share, it's something that people need to have in life, when you find that special someone and when you meet them, you just can't be away from them, you smile just when you think about them. It seems like children (especially girls), just think that everyone they "like" is this someone, they need to understand, there's no point in dating someone at this age, at this age your biggest concern should be towards beating the greatest and latest video game, or having the newest whatever, not how hot the boy down the street is.

Now I probably sound like some teacher who none of the kids like, but still has to talk to them because that's their job, but it's true. Another thing are some of the children do, such as having sex!! Oh no, cover your eyes mothers, you won't want to read this part... TEENAGE GIRLS ARE HAVING SEX!!!11!!!!one+shift!!!!e1even!! Okay, you can move your hands now. That's right, children are having sex already, at the age of the youngest I've seen, 14. Why? Because it's cool, all the celebrities do it. So this kids have got to have some kind of mental deficiency going on with them because that would mean a lot of people in the world would be famous as well.

Another thing is how public some of them get with it, why do they want to flaunt the fact that they are dating someone so bad, not understanding the consequences it could have when the relationship ends the next week. Some of the idiotic children who exclaim at the top of their voices that they "Love him/her!!", then the next week they love the next person in their class. It's just a flawed system that children abide by, buying each other gifts, expensive gifts, and then they break up and don't know what to do. When I was in the 7th grade, I gave my girlfriend a gift and then she broke up with me, and the bitch ripped it in half, and it was a necklace, that cost me quite a bit of money ($20).

Anyways, this has been Internet Critic (apparently Mr.Gates is allowing me to use the Internet in my name again), and thank you for reading. If you have anything to add, then please e-mail me or comment below, and follow me on Twitter or find me on Facebook (Links below). Do you think that children should be aloud to date at an earlier age? Should children have to wait until they understand what "love" means? Do you care? Do you not care? What are you wearing? Do you have a cat? Do you have a dog? Should I shut up and stop it with the questions? Also, I apologize to any teens or "tweens" who may be in committed relationships, you are one of the exceptions towards this and I greatly do apologize.

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Beatles Game to be Released in the Near Future

2009-01-25T20:38:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Most readers aren't frequent on here, so there's really no point in showcasing an entire post towards my likes and dislikes, at least not until I'm a little bit more famous. So until the year 2014, don't expect to see too many posts like this. I love The Beatles, they are probably one of the greatest bands to ever come into existence in the history of ever. I didn't even know they existed, I'm even inclined to say I thought they were crap, but now it's a totally different story, and I have my good friend Scotland to thank for that.

Now, look away from the title for a second, and guess why I'm saying all this.... THAT'S RIGHT! It's because MTV Games and Harmonix have confirmed a Beatles game in the near future (odd, that sounds familiar). Yeah I know this was announced quite some time ago, but I didn't even know a thing about it until just recently, meaning IGN and Gametrailers have the authority to strip me of the Critic part at the end of my name. So I Internet Cri... I mean just Internet, do think this game will be a rithing good time, I just have one thing to say about what Harmonix told us. That one statement is "The game is going to be nothing like Rock Band."

Now I just can't look at this idea with a happy face, just a nervous smirk as if I hope it's going to be amazing, but it's just not going to be as good as some of their games, and yes that's right, I'm looking at those 4 drum pads in the corner of my living room. Harmonix developing a game without using the Rock Band engine is like George Lucas NOT making a really shitty remake of a classic he directed about 20 years ago. I really do like the premise this game has going for it, but I have this really funny feeling in my stomach as if this game is going to go all Guitar Hero: Aerosmith on us.

Anyways, this has been Internet here to bring you some quality informa... *ring ring* Oh let me get that. Oh cool, appearently I've been allowed to use the Critic in my name again, so this has been Internet Critic here to bring you some qua... *ring ring*, oh goddamn, who is it now. "Oh hello Mr.Gates... oh I see... but you don't own the word I believe sir... okay I'm sorry sir goodbye." Well it seems I'm not aloud to use the Internet in my name. Well then I guess this has been Internet Critic here to bring yous some quality information for absolutely no pay whatsoever.

If you would like to follow me on Twitter or look me up on Facebook, the links are below. If you would like to e-mail me or IM me for anything, those are also below. Thanks for reading, and please don't complain that this was short, where I live it's midnight as I write this, your lucky your getting anything you greedy ass bastards... now it's time for me to sleep... zzzzz, wait who the hell snores like that... *honk fludle flufel blech*...

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Internet Critic Reaches Out

2009-01-25T13:32:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. With me just getting back to the whole blogging scene, your probably wondering what I've been doing, and here's a quick response, nothing. Infact, nothing whatsoever. I've just decided to take some time off from all this crap, and soak in information. Now that I'm back though, it's time to open up my resources, instead of sticking to simply blogging, I think it's time that I open up and branch out to other information sharing websites.

I now have two more ways to share information, Twitter and Facebook. Both of them are extremely usefull ways to get you information across to the world, and both of them are filled with useless information as well, let me try to explain as briefly as possible, in a form of short mini-reviews of each.

Twitter:

Twitter is essentially a website based around the question "What are you doing right now". Lore

Sjoberg once said in his show "Alt Text" what is basically my entire thought towards Twitter. "I think one reason Twitter is so unsatisfying is that, it has what might be the most boring question possible, 'What are you doing?'. If you call up a friend and ask what have you been up to lately, what's new, what's exciting, you might get an interesting answer, but if you call them up and say 'What are you doing right now', 'Oh, watchin' T.V. Doin' some laundry. Talkin' to you.' That's just it, the only other thing I can add to that is how Twitter let's you answer this question. You know when you type in what your doing on your Facebook page, well basically it's that, 140 characters of pointlessness.

Facebook:

Facebook, in my opinion, is just e-mailing people, sending information and placing it onto the

website, then hoping someone finds it or reads it. It also has some features that are very usefull, such as: posting pictures quickly and easily, finding your long lost friend, and the ability to comment almost everything your friends do, along with access to information about everything your friends are doing. One of the things that is a somewhat double-sided blade, is the add-a-friend addition. On one side there's total privacy towards who can be your friend, because they have to ask in order to be friend. On the flip-side, YOU HAVE TO ASK TO BE YOUR FRIENDS FRIEND. I always just thought once you were someone's friends, you didn't have to ask again, I'm not saying I know a better way to do it, but come on.

Anyways, this has been Internet Critic, thank you for reading, and be sure to follow me on Twitter and become a fan of me on Facebook (links below). E-mail me if you have an opinion towards this post or any previous posts (e-mail below), or comment on how well or poorly I performed on them. Have a fun web-surfing time, and I'm praying that Wired.com doesn't sue me for using one of their member's quotes on my blog.

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Obama Inauguration

2009-01-24T11:25:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever.I know, I know, it's a little late to be commenting on the inauguration of Barack "Hussein" Obama, but I think I'm going to just put my, "2 cents in", as they call it.

Now let's start off with the man's name, which in all reality is very, very offensive. I mean Hussein, come on, this also had me thinking about his last name which is very scary as well, because Obama is only one letter away from Osama... and there's really no pun for his first name. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely glad he's our president and all, but his middle and last names just scare the crap out of me. Look at the kid who's name is Adolf Hitler, and he was denied cake, but Barack "Hussein" Osam.. I mean Obama, gets to be the President of the United States.

Next little thing I'd like to add, is that Obama has decided to let all of the prisoners in Guantanamo Bay, which further proves my point that he could actually be a terrorist, but maybe that's just me. I mean don't you find that a little odd, his middle name's "Hussein", his last name could almost be Osama, and he's letting all of the terrorist out of Guantanamo Bay, that, plus this stick I found, must mean that he's a possible terrorist.

The third and final thing I have to add is actually valid, and not just a silly theory. Obama was elected because he was black, I said this in the post when he was voted as the President-Elect, and this is why he is historical. Although that is an extremely true fact, most people that are of African-American decent, believe that he is going to change the world in so many ways for the black man, but really I believe it wouldn't matter if he was black, orange, yellow, caramelo, German, Latino, British, or Australian, there are some things the president has to do, and needs to do, and those are the things that come first and foremost.

Anyways, the inauguration was great, he made his little Inaugurational address, and then afterwards he had an Inaugurational ball which was a total success, because they were able to get Beyonce in there and got her to stop making video game songs for a minute, to sing a classic "At Last" where Michelle and Barack danced. On the flip-side to that, their 2 daughters attented the Children's Inaugurational Ball where one of their daughters favourite bands performed, the Jonas Brothers. Now I wonder why their very young children were at that thing with all those boys, isn't that a father's biggest fear or something for her 10 and 7 year old daughters, but once again maybe that's just me.

Anyways, this has been Internet Critic, and please comment on this little post, and e-mail about anything you might want to know at the e-mail below. What did you think of the Inauguration? Did you think it was inspirational, or just an excuse to waste your day? Also, finally, do you agree that Obama is a terrorist, or is it seriously still just me?

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Top 10 Anticipated Games of 2009: Gametrailers

2009-01-24T11:06:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Well, it seems like I haven't posted in.. 1... 2... FOREVER. It's been almost a month here, and what's the reason for that? There are many reason as to why I haven't posted in a while, my uncle died, Obama's Inauguration (which I had to watch, and didn't feel like talking about because everyone else was), and of course all the ladies loving me and such. Anyways, it's finally time to come back and show you guys some great stuff for 2009, starting with some of the top anticipated games for this year from Gametrailers.

GT Countdown: Top 10 Most Anticipated Games of 2009

I see a little bit of an issue when it comes to this kind of thing. How can you do anticipated games list, when we don't even know half of the games coming out this year? I see no point in doing it, especially considering half of the games on the list don't deserve to be on there, especially not God Of War III at the #1 spot. MadWorld deserves what it got, and BioShock 2 should have been sooo much higher than it was, considering it was one of the greatest games of 2007, so good it got re-released in 2008 on the PS3.

A lot of internet gaming website such as IGN, Screwattack, Gametrailers, and Gamespot all rely on anticipation, keeping people coming back to check on content they release for anticipated games, so I can see why it is an important tradition to perform each year. The Wii never gets anything on top 10 lists which disappoints me because a lot of grade A games get released, but some of them never have guns and more blood on-screen then My Bloody Valentine 3D.

Well, this has been Internet Critic, if you have anything to comment on please do it below, or e-mail me directly with the e-mail below. Do you think there were games that should have been on the list? Also, what are some of the events I should blog about that I may have missed (meaning pretty much everything that happened this month)?

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Guitar Hero: Metallica Release Date Set

2008-12-28T18:03:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Well, for all of you Guitar Hero fanatics out there, the next installment in the series, Guitar Hero: Metallica, has been given a release date, 3/29/09. That's amazing considering the actual trailer for the game was only released a couple of weeks ago. Even though that's amazing, the even more amazing thing about this game is that it's even being released!

Let me explain, when the first Madden game on the Xbox 360 was released, it contained the ability to update your roster online. That option was probably available a whole lot longer before then, but none-the-less. That concept of updating online eventually evolved into buying game content online, which has now created the ability for developers to stop worrying about jam-packing content, and instead just sticking on developing a good looking and fun game. When you create a sequel to a game that is band specific, your wasting a lot of valuable time, and money making a new game, instead of just releasing a track pack at $30 dollars for the most recent game.

Another thing that is truly absurd about this game are the features it has. It can be used with the Guitar Hero: World Tour peripherals, it has a song creator function, and a rock star creator function, further proving my point that if they would have just released a track pack for GH:WT, this "new" game wouldn't need to be made. Before I go on, I'd like to get a little more in-depth with the whole rock star creator functionality for a brief moment. The ability to create a character all on your own, in a game who's main selling point is being able to play with a specific band is completely meaningless.

Look, I'm going to try to cut this down into a shorter few sentences for the obviously chimp-minded developers of this game. You tried this before with Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, which by the way was a complete and utter failure, and now your going to ruin Metallica's career further then they did with Death Magnetic... wait that sentence wasn't short at all. Anyways, one of the very cool points, and probably the only one this game has, is that there is an "Expert+" mode, which is I guess a step higher than Expert, so imagine climbing Mt. Everest, and when you get to the top you fall to the bottom and have to do it again or be killed..... and you have to climb with your face... and the mountain is made of ice.

Anyways that's all I have to say, this has been Internet Critic, thank you for reading, and please have a wonderful Christmas Break. Do you think they should actually release this game? Would you like to see Activision and RedOctane take this idea to a whole nether level and incorporate bands like Led Zepplin and AC/DC? Or do you believe this idea was dead with Aerosmith, and should have stopped there? Email and comment responses are accepted.

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Guitar Hero: World Tour Stand-Alone Peripherals

2008-12-27T14:23:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Just after Christmas, whilst setting up my drums for Guitar Hero: World Tour, the head of the cord for the orange cymbal had broken. When this occurred I thought I'd ask Activision directly if they are considering releasing stand-alone drum sets, and here is the response I was given from customer support.

Response (Thien Nguyen) Hello, Unfortunately the peripherals are not currently available for individual sale. They will most likely be available at some time in the future, however we have not been given any information regarding stand alone peripherals. For information regarding stand alone peripherals, we suggest that you periodically check the www.redoctane.com store for information regarding stand alone peripherals. If the wiring stemming from the main drum pads is damaged, then you will need to get the main drum pads replaced. You should be able to complete a RMA request through our self-serve RMA webpage. You can access our self-serve warranty claim webpage at: http://activisionrma.riverstarsoftware.com/

Well, as you can see, they have given me a possible thumbs up on stand-alone peripherals. Of course I fixed my drum set after words, but now I have something to talk about. Why do companies take years just to release stand-alone peripherals for games? Look at Guitar Hero III on the Nintendo Wii it took them a couple of months before they released separate controllers for the game.

Over the Christmas holiday I got a couple of games, and soon I will be receiving a video camera so look out for some video reviews in the upcoming weeks. Also, why haven't any of you considered emailing me asking if you would like to be part of here at this blog. I accept any and all applications, it doesn't matter, as long you give me a good reason as to why. Anyways I better shut up before I start rambling about little kitty-kats. I'm the Internet Critic, thank you for reading, and have a happy holiday.

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Youtube Pick of the Week: Muffins

2008-12-22T23:09:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Before you freak out and comment with things like "first" "first" "stewies head is big" and the main point of this irritating opening sentence "It's nowhere near the end the week". This is last weeks Youtube Pick of the Week because I was preoccupied on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Well this (last) weeks video pick is (was) a rather odd, but well known one indeed. This video I saw through a friend who said "It is soooo funny.. you should so put it on your YPOTW." Okay well he didn't say the second part, but... just shut up and watch.. now!!111!eleven+shift!!!

Muffins - liamkylesullivan

Well that's all, this has been the Internet Critic, and thank you for reading. If you have any requests for my Youtube Picks of the Week, just email or comment this post or me directly (email below). Did you enjoy the video? Do you think better things were released this week? I want to know.

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Spike presents the 2008 Video Game Awards

2008-12-14T20:29:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. As I speak, the 2008 Video Game Awards are on Spike, and man are they amazing. In one night they are able to pack in multiple celebrities such as N.P.H., Kim Kardashian, Weezer, 50 Cent, and so many more. They also have a couple of awards, bunched in between tons of World Premieres for the newest video games. One of the awards that really shocked me was "The Best Independent Video Game" and the nominees were Audiosurf, Braid (obviously the winner), PixelJunk Eden, and World of Goo, who won.. WORLD OF GOO!!! I know, what.. the.. fuck!

The host was Jack Black, which was born for win, but it seemed like you never saw him as much as you should have, and when we did see him, it was for a brief skit. Although that was a little disappointing, throughout the entire show, he was hinting at a new game that I had never heard of called Burtal Legend, developed by Tim Shafer of all people. Over all, I've got to say the people who came out and lied saying "They love video games.", were at least able to pull off that little act, especially Kim Kardashian, the lying bitch.

Although I think that this award show was okay, I think they considered it Awards instead of Video Game Awards. What do I mean by that, well until the last 30-45 minutes of the show, they had bands, and guest actors coming in and talking and singing, instead of showing us the games. Now instead of going, "Oh my god, I'm soooo buying Watchmen: The End is Nigh when it's released." I think I'm going to be saying things such as "Mafia II looks pretty good actually," or maybe "God of War III doesn't look as amazing as everyone anticipated."

I should also tell you a couple of things that were pretty original about this award show. Well number one is that in the "Best Music Awards" category there was: Guitar Hero: World Tour, Rock Band 2, Singstar, and WII MUSIC, once again.. what.. the.. fuck... Number two was that Spike allowed you to watch the awards ceremony from 4 different camera angles on the web for absolutely no cost. And finally, most award shows only showcase a couple of awards, and then we leave, go home, and sob about the fact that BOOM BLOX WASN'T IN THE GAME OF THE YEAR..., but this show gave us kick-ass World Premieres for God of War III, Mafia II, and the awesomely new Gears of War 2 Map Pack.

Anyways, this has been Internet Critic, if you would like to email me your own opinion on the show I will gladly accept it and post it on this blog. Finally, have a good night, thank you for reading, and be sure to be good little gamers, and chainsaw some faces off in Gears of War 2.

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Win some pimpin' stuff

Swagbucks and A Giveaway

2008-12-13T13:31:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Well I've showcased SwagBucks on here once before, and posted my referral link 100 times, but I just cannot tell you how amazing this website is. If you want to know about SwagBucks, then see my previous post, here. Now then, when I posted that, I hadn't won too many things, but now, I've won a lot, it's pretty easy because I have a lot of friends who get a lot of points. Now if you would like to be a part of this revolution, I suggest you click the sign-up link below because that's how you join the Giveaway portion of the contest.

Now here's how you join the giveaway, you MUST CLICK THE SIGN-UP LINK BELOW, if you don't then you cannot be entered. Now, your probably wondering what your prize is, well it's any prize you want from 0- 50 SwagBucks on SwagBucks.com. Even more important is how you win, all you have to do is sign-up and win 10 Swagbucks, and the first person to do that wins whatever they want from 0-50 SwagBucks on Swagbucks.com. Also, if you get one person to join this contest through you, AND THEY USE MY SIGN-UP LINK, I raise your prize point limit from 0-50 SwagBucks to 0-60 SwagBucks from Swagbucks.com.

Well this has been Internet Critic, thanks for reading, and we'll see who wins this. Have a great weekend, and enjoy your Sunday everyone. E-mail or comment me on any question you may have, and I'll get back A.S.A.P.

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Nico Archambault is Canada's Best Dancer

2008-12-08T05:31:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Well, if you were watching So You Think You Can Dance Canada (Eh!)'s final episode last night, your probably throwing yourself out of your window with brute force, because Nico Archambault is Canada (Eh!)'s best dancer. It's just kind of shocking, I didn't watch this show too much, I caught it maybe once or twice over at a friends place, but I felt entitled to watch this one. I really wanted Miles to win, I thought he had a whole lot more talent, but apparently I'm the only person who think that in Canada (Eh!).

What's wrong with this, well he's going to be the next American Idol winner, in theory, he'll be in one dancing performance, then fade into obscurity with all of these other televised talent shows. I didn't even think about this until my friend Trevor came over, he said "What'll they do after this show? Will we ever see whoever wins again?". You get your 15 seconds of fame with these kind of shows, you leave the broadcasting studio, girls scream, and the next morning the only person who remembers your name is a stalker.

The biggest problem, I think, is that this show is essentially a remake of the American one, and the more things that Canada (Eh!) copies from the United States, the closer we get to becoming American, I mean we're already fat, our IQ's are falling faster than Laura Bush's mouth when her husband kissed Barbara Streisand, and our cholesterol is higher than a hippie at Woodstock. Nico you've won this one, but it's the only win you'll ever have, and if I ever see you again, it'll be asking for money on one of the corners in Canada...... (Eh!).

Well this has been Internet Critic, thanks for reading, and do you think they picked someone who deserved the title as Canada (Eh!)'s best dancer? If no, who do you believe should have won? And, did you vote, and if so how many times, oh and were you a devoted fan of the show, that's important too. E-mail and comment responses are accepted.

Pearl Harbour Revisited

2008-12-07T14:20:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Well, today is December 7th, 2008, which therefor anniversaries the horrible tragedy of the Pearl Harbor attacks, 67 years ago. What happened in this attack was basically, Japan bombed Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, which was what got the U.S. started into the Second World War, and that's what the U.S. wanted. Over 2400 Americans were killed in the process of these attacks, and Japanese planes killed most of the American forces in the Philippines.

The thing that moderately pisses me off about this story, is that this proves how ignorant the United States is. I know that's a kind of rude thing to say, but hear me out. The United States was so poorly affected by this attack, they lost so many people, and they're doing the exact same thing to Afghanistan now. Instead of actually trying to help Afghanistan and helping with the people of that country, stopping people who are or make suicide bombers, we're injuring innocent people. That's the same thing the Japanese did, and they shouldn't follow that.

I know I'm gonna get so much hate for what I just said, because Americans will say "They did it to us, so were going to do it back, that's what they deserve." Well, no. As the great Mahatma Gandhi once said, "An eye for an eye, just leaves a nation of blind people." Then why does the United States not heed those words, because if the U.S. continues to attack Afghanistan, and we get really pissed when they do something to us, then they're mentality obviously doesn't make sense. The United States are risking 100 times the people they lost in Pearl Harbor everyday.

I may disagree with the fact that the U.S. does what people do to them, some of the people in Afghanistan deserve what they're getting, and I mean the people who were involved in the Mumbi attacks, and the people who rape and pillage entire colonies because they have authority. I do believe that Afghanistan does have a very corrupt government, but all of the people who aren't affiliated with the things that are happening with this corrupt government, don't deserve what they are getting.

Anyways thank you for reading, this has been Internet Critic, and do you guys think that the United States should be sending out troops to fight Afghanistan? Do you think that the U.S. should heed Gandhi's words and not do what they did back, but still stand up for themselves? E-mail or comment response please. Anyways, I'll catch you next time, and have fun reading Twilight you fucking teenagers.

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Twilight Takes Over

2008-12-06T10:15:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Have any of you noticed Twilight? Yes. Have you noticed that the economy's falling? No. And that is what's pissing me off for today, I don't hate Twilight per say, but I hate how much importance the media is putting on it. The main character's name is Izabella or Bella, and that is now the name of 92% of teenage women. I have one friend who's changing her name to Bella, but she had that mind-set before the Twilight book was even released.

It makes me a little mad that even this generation follows the fads, and then when that fads done they do the next thing that gets famous. Look at how many bands exist with teenagers under the age of 18, why did they start? They started because of the Jonas Brothers, Hannah Montana, Fall Out Boy, and so on, they follow whatever their friends and famous people find interesting, instead of following their own interests.

You'll see Twilight EVERYWHERE now, and when I say everywhere, I mean EVERYWHERE. Habbo rooms, Myspace pages, myyearbook pages, news website pages, t-shirts, browser layouts, and so much more. The movie has been in theatres for about 2 weeks now, and already is considered a phenomena. Teenagers, tweens, and about anybody who can read, and has the IQ and attention span of a peanut, knows this book, but 40 years ago not a person on the face of the planet earth didn't know who the Beatles are.

Much like the Beatles, Twilight will die down eventually, the Beatles will always be famous though... forever. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is releasing next year, The Day the Earth Stood Still is coming out to theatres in 5 days, and so many video games are coming out, hell their even re-releasing into theatres The Dark Knight. Fads are only fads, a small group of "cool" people find something interesting, then the "uncool" crowd follows along, and eventually everyone within a 10 mile range already knows about it.

Anyways thanks for reading, this has been Internet Critic, and what's your opinion on Twilight? Which did you think is better, the book or the movie? And do you think Twilight will eventually die down, or will it stay on top of the charts for years to come? Email or comment responses are accepted. Anyways a little thing to add, I'm now posting 2 or 3 times a day now to get more information across to you guys.

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Ghostbusters the Video Game

2008-12-05T22:08:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring yo...., aww fuck it. YAY, YAY, YAY!!!!!!!! OMG thank you Atari, yeah you screwed over the entire gaming world with the fucking stupid E.T. game on the Atari 2600, but you're going to gain so much credibility with this release. You know how many times I've heard the cancellation for this game, a lot, a lot a lot, I remember seeing some clips of it from NoobTube, a Youtube video game web show, and it looked pretty cool. Now with the release of the trailer, shown first on Machinima, Gametrailers, IGN, and etc., we are all assured that Ghostbusters is going to see a release date eventually.

If you haven't already seen the trailer watch it below, it's really good and if your not already psyched for the game, this will definitely get you in the ghost busting mood. From what I can see though is that this game is going to have to ride on nostalgia, because the last good Ghostbusters game released was on the Sega Genesis, that was more then 5 years ago. All I'm saying is that if Atari wants to get away with this game, they're going to have to pull a really good marketing ploy out of their asses.

Another thing that I think will advance this game to a whole nother level of awesomeness, is that it's been stated straight from the slimer's mouth, is that the better of the 5 systems the game is being released on is the Wii. One issue I'll have with that, is that Atari is going to totally fuck up the motion sensing, I can just sense it, every game on the Wii with motion controls that was great on other consoles, always gets messed up because of poor motion controls.

Ghostbusters Trailer - Machinima

Well thanks for reading, this has been Internet Critic, and I'm wondering, do you guys think this will be a good title? Do you think it'll follow every other shooters controls on the Wii, and every other TPS on the Xbox 360 and PS3? E-mail, or comment responses are accepted at the e-mail below.

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Youtube Pick of the Week: Delfina Mizerska

2008-12-05T17:40:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Well looks like I'm back again with this Youtube of the Week thing again, why because well I can, and I watched some videos recently and one sticks out. There's a fairly new account who's name is DelfinaMizerska. Now then this account stars a 13 year old female, with an obviously very original name, and she does from what I've seen from the introduction video, and episode one, a group together of vlogs, and rants.

Why the fuck am I promoting a new account with such crappy video quality you may be asking, well because she shows what a 13 year girl actually is. Most videos on youtube are skits or vlogs about what other people care about, but this beautiful young woman shows us how normal 8th graders act. Also I reccomend you watch out for her, she might get preety famous, I don't know that's just my opinion, anyways watch the video if you want to prove me wrong.

Introduction to her show

Episode 1... I guess

See now that wasn't that bad was it, okay well it wasn't total crap, but it does give you a better understanding of the normal teenage girl. Anyways this has been Internet Critic, thanks for reading, and watch out next Friday for another, YOUTUBE OF THE WEEK!!!!11!!!1!!one!! If you can think of a specific Youtuber or video I should incorporate with this series of posts, then e-mail me or comment below.

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Thanksgiving Day: Internet Critic

2008-11-27T18:15:00.000-08:00

Hey, Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Holy crap, look at that I'm actually back, and I apologize for not updating you guys on some of the stuff that happens in the world, but I had some personal issues to deal with. Anyways, if you live in Canada you've already celebrated Thanksgiving, and therefor are somewhat perplexed as to why the U.S. has their little slice of Thanksgiving turkey after us, and really I can't tell you why. Let me tell you a little story before I move on, because of Thanksgiving occurring after Canada's, I believed that there was some kind of time change between our two great countries, so I failed all of my Social Studies classes in grade 4, just thought I'd share that.

Anyways moving on, when I opened up my Internet Explorer Browser this morning, I went to the msn.com homepage and noticed that there was a page for, what are thankful for, I was so inclined to type "For the crash of the economy, so I don't have to buy my bratty kids a gift, granted they'll probably be homeless, but whatever at least I don't have to buy them and iPhone." So this makes me wonder, how many of you actually took the time to cook a turkey, sit the family around the dinner table for the first time this year, and have a nice Thanksgiving Dinner? E-Mail or text response.

Another thing that intrigues me about this holiday, is why we actually celebrate is a time to just eat turkey? Thanksgiving is supposed to be about giving thanks for what you have, to celebrate not being a family, but being on an earth with other families, and what you have, not your iPod or your computer, but your sentimental possessions. I'm kind of sorry to say, but some people use Thanksgiving as a marketing ploy, like buy your whole family a turkey dinner and get a free 15" television or some dumb crap like that.

Now that I'm done, thanks for reading, and Happy Thanksgiving, have a great turkey dinner. Also, I'm looking for anyone that would like to work on my blog as a video game reviewer, of course for the love of the game, but also I'm touching on 5,000 unique views, so I think you'll get pretty noticed. Anyways, If you would like to apply just e-mail me with your credentials.

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Brandon Crisp Argument: Internet Critic

2008-11-16T20:42:00.000-08:00

Hello, I'm the Internet Critic, here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. O.K. I feel I need to end this whole Brandon Crisp thing on my blog, over the past month from when I talked about how he ran away, I've received e-mails and comments on the original post about how rude I am to the family, or how funny this story is, but now I think it's time I end talking about this, and explain my real point about this whole thing.

This child's name is Brandon Crisp, he is 15 years old, he lived in Barrie, Ontario, and he was addicted to video games. On Thanksgiving Day his parents took away his Xbox 360 Gaming Console, and had an altercation with his parents then ran away. Almost 2 weeks afterwards, his bike was found in a heavily wooded area of the forest, and a couple of days later his body was found. At the time they did not know the C.O.D (Cause of Death), and guessed Hypothermia because of the coldness in Barrie, but they later found out that he died climbing up a tree.

Now on to my argument, in my first post I said that the child has something mentally wrong with him if he runs away because of games, and I'm sure people took that as me calling the child retarded, but let me tell you the real meaning of what I said. By mentally challenged I meant the child has some form of Glossophobia, the fear of having face-to-face conversations with other people, which is common with most gamers or Internet jockeys. I have a new theory though, I believe the child was afraid of a bully at school, to get away from said bully he played his games because he was good at it, but his parents not knowing this stopped him from doing this, so the only other way he could get away is to run away.

And finally, it's time to leave you with a bad thing for the day. I dislike the fact that people will argue with the fact that the child just ran away because someone took away his console, when that's a stupid reason. Also why did he climb up that tree, if you know please email me below. Well I'm the Internet Critic, and thanks for reading, please respect my opinion it's mine and you have yours.

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Gears of War 2 Review Contest: Internet Critic

2008-11-13T13:50:00.000-08:00

Hey, I'm Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. This is not a contest to win a copy of Gears of War, I'd like to get that out of the way right now, don't let the title fool you, but don't leave just yet, you might get a little interested with what I have to say. This contest is for those of you who have played the game, beaten it, and then thought "Huh, I could totally do a review of this game, like no problems.", well here's your chance.

I'm looking for anybody, ANYBODY, who would like to make a review for Gears of War 2 on the Xbox 360. This contest is open to any and all ages, I'm looking for atleast 250 words long, correctly spelt and gramarical, and statements about key aspects of the game. You can leave it as a text comment, but email is preffered. The winner of this contest will recieve nothing... just playin'. The winner of this contest wins a chance to be a part of this blog regularly, you get a chance to have you post brodcast to hundreds of people over the internet.

So hurry up and send in those reviews, for your chance to be on this blog as my GAME REVIEWER. Pce out yall'.

Email: internetcritic@gmail.com
IM: jesseisdacoolest@hotmail.com
AIM: loredivine@aim.com

Christmas "Crashes": Internet Critic

2008-11-12T15:05:00.000-08:00

Hello, I'm the Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Christmas is the time of year where people get off their ass, go to the nearest Outlet Mall, spend there paycheck on toys and video games, give them to their greedy ass kids, and the stuff breaks the next day. Why is the ceremonial Christmas celebration been broken down to a simple gift-buying day? Well I'll tell you why, the economy, or at least whats left of it. On the day that Jesus was born in the bible, 3 Wise Men brought gold, frankincense, and mur, so from that large companies think that they can make people spend money because of this kind of idea.

What is a kind of bad thing this time around is that the economy is falling, so the gift-buying starts dropping, making the materialized version of Christmas start to "crash". When the economy crashes, people lose money, when people lose money, people can't buy stuff, and the economy keeps crashing. Christmas is the number 1 sales time for companies, but if the companies can't make money, they can't keep shelling out Christmas gifts, it's just the circle of the economy.

And now it's time for, "Internet Critic's Bad Note!!!!!, note, note". My bad not right now is that when I go to the malls that have an EBGames or a Gamestop in them, I feel good when I see the 8 hour long lines. Now because of the crashing economy every one's not going to be able to afford to go there and make those 5 hour long lines. So now I think I'll leave you to woe in sadness of not being able to buy Gears of War 2.

Thank you for reading, and have a fun time watching Zero Punctuation. Before I go, what are you planning on buying for your kids this Christmas season? Are you going shopping for your kids or yourself? Is the economy affecting you wallet or is your wallet effecting the economy? Yeah think about that one for a second Donald fucking Trump. Send me an Email or leave a text comment.

Email: internetcritic@gmail.com

IM: jesseisdacoolest@hotmail.com

AIM: loredivine@aim.com

Rememberance/Veteran Day: Internet Critic

2008-11-11T17:24:00.000-08:00

Hello, I'm the Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Today is a momentous occasion, Remembrance Day in Canada and Veterans Day in America. It is the day in which we remember all of the past soldiers, and the present day soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan, who have lost their to protect ours. On this day, November 11th, we stand for one minute on the 11th hour, of the 11th day, of the 11th month, to respect those who gave their lives. Although we've done this for years upon years upon decades upon years, some of Generation X from a recent poll, believes that Remembrance Day or Veterans Day is merely about wearing a poppy, which is kind of sad.

In World War I, after Archduke Ferdinand was assassinated, the French and Germans went to war, with some of the Canadians going over to help. World War II, was started with the Nazis invading Poland and the Republic of China, and it involved most of the world. The current War on Terrorism was started by many things, but the main cause is considered to be 9/11 when the Arabs hijacked a plane and flew it into the World Trade Centre, and so far it has involved the U.S. and Canadians.

Today is a day to remember all of the soldiers in the world, regardless of what they did, we must respect what they gave for us. Although war is a bad thing, imagine how many Jewish people and Americans would have died, and didn't because of these brave soldiers. I like to leave people off on my own bad note, the only gripe I have with Remembrance Day or Veterans Day, is that every damn school has a class that reads, "In Flanders Fields". I know that's not something your supposed to get mad at, but I've heard it way too many times.

Anyways, thanks for reading, and have a safe and memorable Remembrance/Veterans Day. I would like to hear a personal War Story from you guys because my opinion matters, but so does yours, Email me or leave a text comment.

Email: internetcritic@gmail.com
IM: jesseisdacoolest@hotmail.com
AIM: loredivine@aim.com

Attack of the Touch: Internet Critic

2008-11-09T11:16:00.000-08:00

Hey you guys Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. O.K. just recently, about 3 or 4 days ago but that doesn't matter, I decided to stop by my nearby T-Mobile and play around with the Apple iPhone 3G. Man was I astonished, the touch design is amazing, the Safari Web Browser on it is so fast, and the camera's quality is amazing, hell it's better than my digital camera which is kind of sad. But. as I was using this I noticed that I've done this type of stuff already, actually I've been doing it for the past 6 years on the Nintendo DS. Which kind of brings up the question, How many of these are there? O.K. it doesn't really, but seriously how many of these are there?

I did a little bit of research and noticed that there's a hundred thousand fucking things that have a touch screen. In fact here's the only one I'm going to actually consider buying, and that's the Nintendo DSi, which is a remake of the DS Lite, which is a remake of the Original Nintendo DS. This should have stayed as the only other thing having a touch screen, the other of course being PDA's but you already knew that....... I'm just gonna continue now. The Samsung Instinct is another one, it's very similar to the iPhone in the fact that you can download applications, but that doesn't deserve it the right to be a touch phone... fucking Samsung.

One of the only other touch phones that is any good is (hmph here we go), the T-Mobile G1. O.K. phone companies that develop phones already that thought "Let's make a touch phone so people don't have to deal the tiny keypad.", I'm alright with that, but when a search engine provider develops a phone, that's when I feel bad inside. The G1 is essentially the iPhone, but it uses a lot of the Google programs such as Google Earth (as a GPS), a built in Google Search Bar, and Youtube all right into it. That is kind of cool and I would like to have that on my phone, but unless Google decides to work for shitty phones anonymous, I'm not getting that soon.

In conclusion, phone companies could try to stop using the same method and try something new, how about instead of Google making a phone, they try to develop a freeware search engine developing software for users to make their own search engine. If companies stopped trying to make money from something somebody else is doing, and make something interesting and useful to the consumer that they don't already have they would be way more successful late on in life. Anyways that's just me, thanks for reading, and what's your opinion? Do you own an iPhone or what-not? Do you think there are way too many of these? E-mail me or comment down below

Email: internetcritic@gmail.com

IM: jesseisdacoolest@hotmail.com

AIM: Loredivine

Brandon Crisp Has Been Found: Internet Critic

2008-11-07T12:29:00.000-08:00

Hey I'm Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Some of you may know that I reported on the Brandon Crisp Incident, for the group of you who didn't know what it was about that's what this opening paragraph is for. Brandon Crisp was a 15 year old boy, on Thanksgiving Day his parents took away his Xbox 360 Video Game console, and the same day he took his bike and rode off. Now not too long ago I wrote a story about this and I think it insulted some people, so I thought I would cover it again and apologize.

Brandon Crisp was found the other day in the forest in Barrie, Ontario not too far away from where they found his bike. The boy ran away because his parents took his Xbox away because they believed he was addicted to video games, meaning that he enjoyed playing video games far, far too much. Although that may be true it shows that in some studies that people who are addicted to video games, have some kind of mental condition, usually where they can't talk to anyone face to face so they communicate online.

Once again, sorry to the family of Brandon Crisp, I truly am, but I speak my mind here so I have to say what I think I should say. Once again I am the Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever.

E-Mail: internetcritic@gmail.com
IM: jesseisdacoolest@hotmail.com (New one because I forgot the old one's password)
AIM: Loredivine

Barack Obama is Elect-President: Internet Critic

2008-11-05T11:44:00.000-08:00

Hey Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Well it's finally here, Barack Obama is the next President of the United States of America, making him the first African-American man to be elected as the President. I have one issue with this happening, and I'm not being racist, but..... Obama's not black. I know, I know, Obama Girl's going to pimp slap me in about an hour, but hear me out, he's not black. A black man in the United States has fairly dark skin, lives in poorer parts of the country, no offense but it is true, and is usually raised by his grand-mother or is adopter, once again no offense but it is sometimes true. That is the description of a true black man, where as Barack was raised by his white grand-mother, god rest her soul, in Hawaii, there's no way in H.E. double hockey sticks he's completely white.

Where as I respect that regardless of how racist some parts of the United States is, they can still vote for a black man, why did McCain do so bad? John McCain is 77 years old or so, who keeps track, for all we know he could be from the prehistoric ages, and he's been in war, he's a respectable leader, and has a good understanding of what it takes to be President of the United States. Where as Barack Obama is basically this kid who thought it would be cool to have some power in the U.S., and after that he gets assassinated.

Anyways that's all I have to say, thank you for reading, and congratulations to Barack Obama for becoming President of the United States. If you think what I've just said is bubkiss, then make a comment or e-mail me (below), or you wanna throw in your own little things. BTW you guys, I'm starting a contest, I'll be making a full post tomorrow probably, for a very very cool prize.... not really.

E-Mail: internetcritic@gmail.com

IM: kingbling95@hotmail.com

Win some kewl prizes

IC's Blogger Tutorials - #3: How to Increase Your Pageviews

2008-10-29T11:01:00.000-07:00

Hey you guys, IC here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. If you've read some of my previous Blogger Tutorials, then you know that everything that you watch, see, and do on the Internet needs to be learned. If you go on pure instinct the chances of you succeeding at a higher level is so impossible, you need to learn what to do, how to do it well, and how to do it fast. Although the last one seems like a difficult task, there is a way to succeed on the Internet quickly and efficiently.

One of the ways you can do this is finding out what people think is interesting at the time, that means doing a lot of research. Now think about, think about maybe 3 things that people worry about on the Internet. What did you get, Youtube, Google, and free stuff, so use those to your advantage, think of ways to incorporate that with your blog, besides if you want it to be interesting that's the niche you should be filling to start out with.

Another way of raising page rank is joining blogger groups. Blogger groups are small or large (and by large I mean fat) groups of people who blog about the same thing and the same subject. Do note that people who start these kinds of blogger groups are not looking for newbies, they are NOT looking for people who blog about they fact that they had some toast and a fly flew on it, and they definitely aren't looking for someone who posts once in a blue moon.

One of the only other ways I can think of to boost your page rank is link to things like crazy, by that I mean if your part of a forum of some sort, then put the link in your signature box if the forum has one. One thing I can say for sure that will take all your page views away, is never post for money from sites like Pay Per Post, or some other thing, that takes away any and all respect your followers have for you.

Thank you for reading, if you have any further questions on how to blog, or are having problems with understanding how a part of blogger works, I do personal sessions with anyone who needs help through my IM (posted below). Once again thanks for reading, I hoped you enjoyed and happy blogging.

E-Mail: internetcritic@gmail.com
IM: kingbling95@hotmail.com
AIM: Loredivine

Internet Critic covers: Brandon Crisp Incident

2008-10-27T09:26:00.000-07:00

Hello, I'm the Internet Critic here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. You know I have been a devoted gamer since I was 2 years old, I have played shooting games, adventure games, and platformers, not once have I ever had this kind of an issue. A young man named Brandon Crisp (Age 15), ran away from his home, but the reason is so stupid and pointless. He was "addicted" to video games and his parents believed that his addiction was becoming too bad, so they took away his Xbox 360 on Thanksgiving.

He's been M.F.X. (Missing from Xbox) and Microsoft and the Barrie Internet Police Force are working towards finding the over 200 people he's played the game with. This report pissed me off for two reasons: 1. If Microsoft is working with Barrie Internet Force then what do you think will happen with Microsoft, it'll be the Micheal Jackson trial all over again, and 2. WTF whoever gave this report is probably the stupidest person alive, how many inhabitants are on Xbox Live, some 800,000 people a day right. So that means that they think there looking for only 200 people out of maybe 800,000, unless their referring to his friend list.

I myself am addicted to video games, notice that there were no quotes, because I have more will power than the will of Chris Bores (Irate Gamer). Anyone who has an "addiction" to video games, has something so much more wrong with them, they are the people who play video games but their mental state is so corrupt that they believe they're a part of the game itself. That's why shooting games were invented to take the stress off, but if that's all you play you'll start to feel so immersed in the game that it becomes the only thing that they care about.

My opinion does matter but I'd like to hear from you guys, what's your opinion, do you believe that people can actually become addicted to video games or that they just like games and there's something else wrong with them. Leave a text comment or e-mail me. That's all thank you for reading, and please have a fun time playing GH:WT (Guitar Hero: World Tour) all you lucky bastards.

E-mail: internetcritic@gmail.com
IM: kingbling95@hotmail.com
AIM: Loredivine

Pinged Off: Outlook Express

2008-10-16T16:46:00.000-07:00

Hello, I'm Internet Critic here to bring you some quality infromation, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Welcome to Pinged Off, a segment in which I talk about what I, and many other internet hanger-outers, dislike about anything that happens on the interwebs. Whenever you go to e-mail something to somebody, be it from a link you found on the web in this case, you find that this annoying ass box pops up reading "Outlook Express". "What does it mean IC, I mean is it as bad as the MS Paperclip." Says fucking Bill Gates, well Billy-Oh it's a program where you can send e-mail without going to Hotmail.com or Gmail.com.

I don't see why they thought this was a neccesary program in which to send e-mails. I can actually send an e-mail through the webpage link, I don't need some kind of help, I'm not a double level retard. Outlook Express doesn't even work 94% of the time, also sometimes it doesn't even support the type of e-mail your trying to send to. Imagine how much work must have been put into making this program, about how much time it takes for Clint Eastwood to make up his next movie idea.

This is always going to be a short subject because it's easier to critic, showing good and bad points, then it is to just make fun of something, which is just making fucking fun of it what else do you want. Final Verdict: Don't even USE this program, it's a waste of CPU space, time, and good luck if you want to use it.

E-mail me at: internetcritic@gmail.com
IM me at: kingbling95@hotmail.com
Win some cool prizes here: Swagbucks

IC's Movie Reviews - 1408

2008-10-11T20:02:00.000-07:00

Hey IC here to bring you some quality information, for AHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!!!!!! Oh O.K. it was just the space bar. Well then as you can see I'm kind of over-exaggerating my reaction to the space bar, but that's because I just watched one of the most mind-bending movies in the history of movies. The movie, 1408, is based off of a short story written by Stephen King, and is about a man named Mike Enslin (John Cusack), who writes horror stories about specifically scary homes. He goes on to do his job, look for haunted homes or hotels, etc., etc., and basically without giving anything away, mentally lives the greatest horror story of ever.

Now if I just happen to catch a movie and press info, and it just happens to read "John Cusack", I am gluing my eyeballs to the screen like SNL and Micheal Phelps puns last night. John Cusack is probably the scariest man on the face of the planet earth, the only other person I could think that scary is maybe Christian Bale as The Joker in the Dark Knight. His mind feels so corroded in this movie, he literally burns himself alive with a room, sees an image in the fridge, and he basically gets frozen. He still scares the crap out of me.

Now Mike's daughter is the whole point of this story basically about. His daughter , Katie (Jasmine Jessica Anthony), dies of probably cancer that's what it seems like, and she's what he writes his first book about. The hotel room he stays in is filled with memories of his past, most about his daughter, and they scare him so much that he starts to believe anything can be real and hurt him tremendously.

If your looking for a scary movie for Halloween night to watch with your girlfriend while you eat the candy you stole from that kid down the street, then watch this. It's a jumper-flip movie, a jumper movie you jump a lot even though you know what's gonna happen, and a flip movie is where they do something completely new and original you weren't expecting. 1408, it scared me so it'll scare you now go watch it.

Before I go, you may have noticed that there is a moderate update that I did to layout of this blog, before it was checker green now it's specific layout green, much more professional. Thank you for reading.

Email: internetcritic@gmail.com*

IM: kingbling95@hotmail.com

AIM: Loredivine

*You can email gmail accounts with MSN and AIM accounts.

Jesse Guarascia in: The Suite Life on Deck

2008-10-11T08:22:00.000-07:00

Hey, Jesse Guarascia here to bring some quality blady blah blah, I'm pretty sure you know the rest. Anyways, when you read the title it did not mean that I'm going to be in The Suite Life on Deck, it does not mean I have an interview with the Sprouse twins, it's just how I introduce myself. I guess I might as well tell you a little about it's predecessor, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. Besides it having the longest name I've ever seen for a Family show, it's really not that funny.

The story revolves around Zack (Dylan Sprouse) and Cody Martin (Cole Sprouse), who's mother Carey Martin, played by Kim Rhodes, sings at the Tipton Hotel. In return from Carey singing at the Tipton, she gets a luxury hotel for her and her two boys. While they stay in the hotel they get in probably the stupidest cliches in television history. I mean really, what are the chances that the worst hotel engineer in the world develops a time machine, that works, and the boys go back and live the life they've always wanted, but notice they don't want that. That's the whole show, they do something stupid, they find that "Oooooo, watching a scary movie that traumatises me is bad.", and they try to counter-act it doing another stupid thing.

I'm sorry if all of you Astral Media fluffers, or Sprouse fluffers for that matter get mad at me, but it's true that it sucks really bad. The jokes are bullcrap and obviously the ~~laugh box~~ audience is just being forced with a gun to their heads until they laugh. This is probably the only show in history that runs for about 3 seasons, and gets watched, sadly, then gets a sequel that will probably get more attention than the Superbowl this year. The previews and trailers have already flooded Youtube to the point where relevant videos are getting the cold shoulder, and sadly I'm afraid this trend may lead on.

What I meant by that was, if this horrible shows preview can get thousands of views in the first couple of days, then this could lead into even worse shows like House, Scrubs, Terminator: The Sarrah Conner Chronicles, anything by Fox, any game by the EA divisions, and especially FRED, that son of a bitch. I'm just saying, if previews take over original and thought-provoking content then why don't we make the previews have some kind of legality rule, where say you can't add then to any media site without paying royalties to the owner of the preview.

Anyways that's all I have to say, thank you for reading. If you feel like bashing the hell out of me e-mail me at: internetcritic@gmail.com (BTW you can e-mail from hotmail and yahoo to GMail.) IM or AIM me at: kingbling95@hotmail.com or AIM - Loredivine

IC's Blogger Tutorials #2 - Sharing Audio and Folders

2008-10-07T11:52:00.000-07:00

Hey IC here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Welcome back to IC's Blogger Tutorials where I'll be talking about how to share audio, be it from labeled singers or your own podcast, and how to share folders from your computer. Now here are the steps neccesary in order to add audio to your blog and/or website.

Audio Steps

#1. First take your downloaded or recorded audio, in this case it'll be a podcast so recorded audio. Then go to a hosting website the best ones in my opinion are the ones posted here. Make sure you've sign up and posted the correct audio file.

#2. Once you've uploaded your audio file be sure to get the embed code from the description of the audio player, lets say Last FM. Then if you wish to put the audio within your post, you must travel to the "Edit HTML" part of the post right next to compose at the top of the text box.

#3. Make sure you've placed it in an area of the post where it is most complimented. Then once it's up sit back, listen and enjoy. If it is a downloaded song be sure to credit the artist, and the label for legal issues.

File Sharing

#1. Be sure to put the folder is put in a place where it can be uploaded easily on your computer. Then go to a good uploaded share website, I reccomend maybe Rapidshare that seems to be the easiest to manuver through without a whole lot of trial and error.

#2. Now that it's up get the link which means you should highlight some text and click link in the posting coloum above your text box. Once you get the link place it in the Web URL section and people can click and download.

#3. Now that it's up just wait for people to download, and enjoy. For security measures, if you downloaded the file from a seperate place, I suggest you virus scan it so your and your downloaders computers do not become infected.

Thanks for reading, and happy blogging.

If you have any issues e-mail me at: internetcritic@gmail.com
IM or AIM me at: kingbling95@hotmail.com or AIM - Loredivine

IC's Blogger Tutorials #1 - Youtube Videos

2008-10-06T09:19:00.000-07:00

Hey IC here to give you some quality information for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Hello, and welcome to my 5 part tutorial on some advanced and very easy tricks on Blogspot blogs. The first one I will speak of is how to add youtube videos directly to your post. Now this trick isn't too difficult so I'll try my best to keep this short and to the point.

Step #1: Now to get the video to show directly on your blog, you must go to the youtube video in question. Now to the right of the video (under the discription), there is a line of text that to the left of it reads "Embed", which is program language for, "to show something on a website."

Step #2: Copy and paste the "Embed" link and go back to blogger, then click new post and write everything you think is important as to why the video is their and/or talk about what you were going to talk about in the post to start with. Now go to "EDIT HTML" it's very important that you paste the code there, because if you paste it just with the text it will come up as text.

Step #3: Be sure that you pasted the "Embed" code where it is most complimented with your post. Once your done just click publish post, and your good to go. If you think the post needs some touching up you can click save as draft and edit it later. Also it's incredibly important that you credit the creator of the video for legal issues.

That's all and stay tuned for the rest of IC's Blogger Tutorials, where I'll tell you how to add counters and banners to your blog, how to move around the placement or things on your blog, and much much more. Thank you for reading, and happy blogging.

Internet Critic Reviews - Private Servers

2008-10-04T13:58:00.000-07:00

Hey IC here to bring you some quality content, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. You play freeware online games right, of course that's why you come here so you can here my opinion on them. Do you dislike the massive amounts of grinding neccesary to be able to actually reach the top of the leaderboards. Then look no further then a private server. What people do with private servers is that they take they coding for the original game or another private server, and alter to make they game more desirable to play for long sessions. One of the flaws with this idea is the huge lack of people playing, because unless you've been playing the game for like 2 years and wanna try something new, you will not even consider looking for a new one.

What kind of games get a freeware private server, well the only ones I know of are Fly For Fun (FLYFF for short), Ragnarok or RO, and finally from what I know any game that's already free. I said FLYFF because Fly for Fun is extremely too much like World of Warcraft when it comes to the grind, so when they edit it and make a private server they always take the time to increase the experience you gain per kill. If they make a private server that entails to them having to pay for the server to stay up and hope that people donate to keep it up. Most of the time they also include all the payed for stuff you get in the original game, which therefor leads into my next point, legality.

If you do create a private server your basically stealing someone elses idea, so it's like going "Oh hey, Smosh is awesome why don't I take all of their videos and sell them on DVD." Actually that's not a bad idea. Giving all of the stuff you have to pay for, for free may be a fairly good deal but you have to consider the fact that you or someone will have to donate to keep the server up. There's only 2 reasons I can think of that would make a server be forced to drop: 1. The server host hasn't payed therefor causing them to shut-down the server, 2. The original game host (in this case it's Flyff), tells them they need to shut-down the site or they could be sued for illegal use of their game.

Well anyways that's all I have to say, thank you for reading and be sure to check out Monday-Friday this week for IC's Blogger Tutorials, where I tell you about all of the simple to extremely advanced things you can do with bloggger that most people have issues with.

E-mail me at: internetcritic@gmail.com

IM me at: kingbling95@hotmail.com

AIM me at: Loredivine

Internet Critic tries out - Yuwie

2008-10-03T20:16:00.000-07:00

Hey you guys, IC here, it's been a while eh. Well like I said on IC and JG: Double Time, quality is key here at Internet Critic, so me and Jesse are gonna try to keep up the posts that you all love so much. Well this time to keep myself up-to-date on some of the websites on the web, I'm gonna review one, and this time it's Yuwie. O.K., before I start this review I am going to note a couple of things about the name of this site, starting off with Yuwie Fin is a phrase my younger brother uses to make his friends laugh. The only serious reason is the fact that Yuwie may have never been used, but that doesn't make it a good name, just like this links site, it's guarasciabloghome.blogspot.com where as it should have been internetcritic.blogspot.com.

Well then, right the uhh point of the website thingy. Well before you even sign-up your greeted to a nice young man by the name of .......... I really wasn't listening. Anyways it's expectable to want to physically interact to your viewers, it gains trustwortiness and makes them wanna use your site more because they feel welcome. Ok that's enough of that how about what your get from the website, well money. "What money, that's a scam someone tell CBC." Says Jack Layton of the New Democrats, well I doubt it, see what this man believes from the begginging of the handsome video, is that everyone has the 3 friends willing to sign up in the world. The amount of money isn't $10 per 5 seconds on the site or something you only get payed everytime someone looks at some of your content.

"What content?", you may ask, well basically anything internet related which is my specialty. The things you have access to post are: videos (for the youtube crowd), blogs specific to their site, pictures, and etc. etc. etc. The list can go on forever, but you have to put on alot to make alot of money becaus the more people that look at it, the more money you get. One of the issues of uploading videos or pictures it's basically free, meaning you don't have to do anything but upload videos and pictures you find on the web.

If your looking for a good way to get an iPod, TV, Music and such I reccomend trying out maybe SwagBucks, or something where a reliable source gives you proof. I don't believe in the word free, there has to be a commitment for you to make the money or get the prize, you have to be patient you can't make money online any faster than you would in the real world. All I'm saying is that there are much more realistic income making sites other than and you should try them all out because they all give some kind of income, unless it obviously lies then it's automatically fake.

Email me at: internetcritic@gmail.com

IM me at: kingbling95@hotmail.com

AIM me at: Loredivine

Find me on FaceBook as: Jesse Guarascia (the only one)

Internet Critic's - Youtube Pick of the Week

2008-09-29T16:33:00.000-07:00

Hello you guys, IC here to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay. For the first time ever on this site I am proud to announce that I now have a Youtube Pick of the Week. This is primarily because I feel like 90% of the content on Youtube is viable, and I believe that people who aren't famous get credit for what they do. I mean I was once on Youtube, my name at the time was Chronicles of Gaming, I had some somewhat decent amount of video and they were good in a stupid kind of way. I eventually got banned because my content, I ranted about games and such, were flagged as spam even though they had a purpose unlike some people (yeah that's right I'm looking at you SXEPhil, and by the way I am not Defranco).

The second reason I felt like instead of talking about whatever is completely unimportant, I would try to freshen up this site by posting some original content of which I think is interesting. The first video I'm going to throw up goes to Alhorian. Over the past couple of posts actually my IC and JG: Double Time post (See here.), and I sorta compared him to Zero Punctuation, I know that's rude with Alhorian being a copy and everything but.... whateva right. Anyways, while I was talking about him I said I enjoy his content, why I'll never remember he just made me feel happy. No not like that.

So here is IC's Youtube Pick of the Week - Alhorian's Ranting Monkey: Being an Achievement Whore.

IC Movie Reviews - The Butterfly Effect

2008-09-28T13:45:00.000-07:00

Hey IC here to post you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Today as I scrolled through Star Choice's movie channels, I stopped at IFC. Playing at the time was Scary Movie, but I saw that after that my favourite movie ever was playing, The Butterfly Effect.

Well then I guess I should start on the story then. The story starts off with Evan, a young boy who lives with his mother, who from the look of her uniform is either a stripped or a waitress. Evan goes to elementary school with his mother where she finds a picture he drew of what he wants to be when he grows up, only for him to say he doesn't remember doing it. Not just that, but many, many other events in his life are blanked out from a condition his father had, hmm didn't know craziness was hereditary. As he continues in life he starts to remember the things he had blanked out, and ultimately alters the future and his own life.

Over the course of the movie, the things he blanked out become a little more understandable. At about mid-beggining he goes to his friend Kayleigh's house to meet her father, played by Eric Stoltz. Once they go in the basement to record a "movie", he blanks out everything unto the point where Mr. Miller tells Kayleigh and Evan to get naked. When he tries to remember he tells off the father, and in that alters the past so him and Kayleigh are dating at a college.

In the movie the role of Evan is played by Logan Lerman (Age 7), then John Patrick Amedori (Age 13), then finally Ashton Kutcher, and each actor pulls off their respective role perfectly. Logan Lerman pulls off a confused blanking child perfectly, as does John Patrick Amedori pull off a memory lost teenager amazingly. The other characters effected by Evan had to be drastically changed in how they look in order to match what he did, so I have to respect the hair, make-up, and costume designers.

This movie will always be my favourite because it's a smart person movie. A smart person movie is a movie that makes you reconsider the entire human condition, and a stupid person movie is for someone who turns off The Butterfly Effect, or Hancock and loads up Meet the Spartans. That's all I have to say, thank you for reading and I will be back to update the Xbox Live Update.

Internet Critic Reviews - N

2008-09-27T17:07:00.001-07:00

Hey IC here again to bring you some quality information, for absolutely no pay whatsoever. Today would be the second day in a row that I've reviewed a video game, and this game is actually 10 to the power of infinity times better than Iron Man and it's free. Now,N. N is short for Ninja, and is basically a 2-D Ninja game, so I like to call it "Ninja Gaiden: Freeware that just Happens to be good Enough to have a Retail Release." Well here's the story of N. You clicked Run, then you sat there for 15 seconds as it loaded, clicked run again and played it, that's it. There would have been a story to this game if the developer didn't have about $10 to develop the game.

The game play is solid, but is missing the "right stuff", "the essence", what the french might call..... I don't know what. What Dr. Evil's monologue means in this case is that even if there is a really engrossing game play, it will eventually get boring. The game play for this game is basically just going through a couple of levels using only your super amazing ninja powers and jump to the end. What I find interestingly boring about this is to see the end you have to not just do this, but you must also collect yellow blocks that regain the time you have to complete the level. This is reminiscent to Prince of Persia where you need time sand to go back and forth in time. You also have the ability to make your own levels, but does that matter when Boom Blox, SSBB, and like 300 other games have it.

I'm on the Prince of Persia imitations, you have the ability to jump but only so far and only fall so much. The falling is more annoying then my cat that doesn't know how to fuck off, since it changes depending on the level, on one level you could fall 5000 yards and survive, where as on level whatever-the-hell you can fall maybe 300 yards. The opposite of Prince of Persia is the killing, instead of being stabbed with say a knife, you instead get shot, electrocuted, exploded and well 5-story splatter owned. That's kinda weird that your a ninja, the ultimate human being, yet people still believe shooting you is the correct method of death for you. I'm not saying this is a bad game, but they could have done much better, I guess we'll just have to see if the sequel, N+, is any good when I buy it, If I ever do. Well that's all I have to say, and thank you for reading.

Tell me how bad I am at reviewing games at: internetcritic@gmail.com
or Personally mock me as I expect it at: kingbling95@hotmail.com or AIM - Loredivine.

Internet Critic Reviews - Iron Man Demo

2008-09-26T16:26:00.000-07:00

Ugh, I can't beleive I have to do this, well I don't have to but I didn't do anything else today. Whenever a succesful movie is released the obvious merchandise, toys, appearel, and the worst of all video games, are made. By ", the worst of all video games." I don't mean video games are terrible, I mean there is maybe one good movie tie-in video game (the obviously amazing Goldeneye: 007). Iron Man doesn't cut this law nor does it do too bad. Do note I was playing the demo version of this game for 2 reasons, one I only review things that everyone can get, so there either affordably or freely priced, two I'm not buying anymore movie tie-in games since I bought Kung-Fu Panda.

Ok let's go down a group of things I hate about this game. #1 the finicky ass controls. Let's see when you play a video game you expect this to be the controls for say an adventure game, right button is some sort of extra attack and the left trigger does something with the left side of your character. No this game beleives that you get to fly really fast pressing the right button, and fly upwards with the left trigger. Another control issue is that there is no jump button. Like any game A= Jump that's just how it works, but in this game A=LT (Left Trigger)= Upwards flight, its not that annoying but I like jumping, not flying 300 yards in the air before I can go up a ledge.

#2 is the weapons. This one I'm not that mad at, but I don't think just because everyone uses a gun means EVERYONE should use a gun. When you hold the X button you get a giant ray of light that pops out of your chest, where as if you hold the Y button, you get a bunch of missiles that fly out of your hand, and if you hold the RT (Right Trigger) you get a gunshot from the same hand as the missiles. This isn't that bad, but all of the weapons have the same effect except for the chest blast, this attack is 1 hit kill, but you need to charge it meaning you could get killed at any time. Oh and dying you die after you lose energy 3 times in a row, meaning dying is really hard.

#3 the final thing wrong with this game is, flying. "What?!? Iron Man's main power is flight and it's so cool in the movie." Says the guy in the back with the Robert Downey Jr. t-shirt on. Well yes it is his main power, and yes once again it is cool in the movie, but that's it, it's only cool in the movie, but the in-game flight control is like Gears of War's running meets Halo 3's mech suit. When you fly upwards that's all you can do FLY UPWARDS, but if you hold the left trigger you fly as if you were a boulder with wings. What I mean by that is that you fly like you weigh 900 pounds (which you technically do), but when you are flying your movement is so stiff you might as well be a little kid with super-strength throwing a rock that's remote controlled.

Well that's all I have to say today, thank you for reading.

Tell me how terrible I am at reviewing games at: internetcritic@gmail.com
Or insult me personally at: kingbling95@hotmail.com or AIM - Loredivine

Iron Man Movie Site
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IC and JG: Double Time Review

2008-09-24T18:11:00.000-07:00

Here at IC, quality is first no matter what we're doing; quality is where we start off. In the past few days, quality and information has lacked somewhat, so in noticing this, and that Knight Rider didn't get reviewed by me, here's a double post by both me and Jesse. Well enjoy, and sorry for the delay of content.

Internet Critic checks out - Zero Punctuation

Mmmmm Wednesday joy, this show makes my wednesdays worth waking up for. You know that feeling when you feel deprived of deliciously tastefilled videos, well this man is what does it for me. On Wednesdays my little friend, Zero Punctuation, critiques some of the newest games of the week, but instead of doing it like the nerd where he records himself, he records MS Paint photos and plays them on The Escapist.com.

I really have to give him big props, no matter how many impersonators come around he always ups his game to come back at them. One of probably the only impersonators that does any good is Alhorian on Youtube. Our yellow back-ground hero(in) is extremely into video games, to the point where he sometimes goes without food just to play them.

It seems no matter how hard Australians try, they never get the good end of the stick, games are truly a fortune considering in the U.S., Rockband is $180 and in the Austrian Outback Marketplace (AOM for short) it costs over $300. This may be a downside, but with Zero Punc. covering what games are worth buying, such as Braid, he is truly necessary down there. Now I believe Fesse The Faggot wants to say something.

Jesse Guarascia in: iHate iTunes

Well the title kind of over-exaggerates what I'm saying, but it is true, iHate iTunes. Ok Apple explain to me why you think, just because the iPod and the iPhone start with a lower-case I, you can name the program to put songs on the devices iTunes. I guess saying, "My iTunes has like 1,000 songs", is better to say then "Yo my iPod has like 2,000 songs on it, I put them on with Song Applier Ver. 11.45.8."

While I'm talking about iTunes as a program, why the hell did Apple think it was a good idea to make every iPod have only one iTunes, and if it uses another one it deletes all of your songs. I mean I can understand that you could move files from one computer to another that contain viruses. Although that is a valid idea, does it really affect the fact that your friend may have a song you don't have but want, yeah well don't use your iPod or that'll be the only song you ever get to put on.

The final thing I have to point out is the iTunes Store. Ok the iTunes Store is basically a way to buy songs to put on your iPod from Apple themselves, what Apple obviously understands is that smart people know how to transfer songs from Limewire to iTunes. The store does have far better quality, and has movies and pod casts, most of which you can't legally download from Limewire and play on your iPod. That's all iHave to say, thank you for reading.

Email me at: internetcritic@gmail.com
IM me at: kingbling95@hotmail.com
AIM me at: Loredivine

Apple Website
Zero Punctuation
Swag Bucks for Free Prizes

Internet Critic covers - Heroes Season 3 Premeire

2008-09-22T20:17:00.000-07:00

YAY!!! OMFG, this R the awesomest thing eva!!!!!!!!!!!!! Huh oh right yeah, okay let me stop sounding like a fanboy for a second, geeh, get a hold IC get a hold. Ok if you enjoy Superman, Batman, Wonderwoman, or if your a really devoted comic book fan, Flash, you will enjoy Heroes. Now here's how Heroes works out, a young man by the name of Peter Petrelli lives in New York as a nurse with his brother who's running for Congressman of New York, Nathan Petrelli. Peter believes that he is destined for greater things, and learns he and many of his friends have great powers, such as indestructibility, mind reading, and painting the future. Little does he know that what he thought was supposed to be a great step forward in his life, but is going to just end with sorrow, and sadness, as he learns the world is going to end at his hands. It's up to him and his new-found friends, to stop this crisis.

Now I've followed Heroes since Season 1, Episode 1, and have been a loyal fan, waiting since December 18th for this day that Heroes would come back. Every Monday in my home, regardless of what was on, I would force my mother and brother to do something else and stfu while I watch this, just to see the next installment of this engrossing story. The premiere of this show was a pretty interesting time in my home, me and my mother had to fight over who got to see what, either Heroes (the obvious winner or I couldn't tell you about it) or CSI: Miami (Epic Phail).

I have to say this right now, do not watch Heroes unless you've seen all of the episodes, there are parts of the show that need you to have a very good memory of what happened in the show, without spoiling anything, Peter shoots his brother but the beginning of the show explains why, with you needing to remember who is attacking and who is being shot for what reason. Some of the parts of the 2-Hour episode, such as the mother who's name escapes me, has a dream that leads to a completely different part of the future we had seen meaning "The Butterfly Effect" the name of the second part, makes sense.

Well to stop boring you I'm gonna head off now to leave you Heroes fans to find a site that has some episodes or go to Youtube to see the premiere to learn on your own, and to new fans I say go look for a way to see all of the episodes of this epic series, it's definetely worth the watch. I'm not going to rate this show because if I give it all 10's, the producer of 24 will bug the hell out of me and ask me to review 24, ewwww.

E-mail me at: chroniclesofvideogames@gmail.com
Im me at: kingbling95@hotmail.com
AIM me at: Loredivine

Heroes Main Website
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PC Gamers I Envy You

2008-09-21T15:59:00.000-07:00

Hey Jesse Guarascia back again to post you some quality information, for no pay whatsoever. I speak for the entire new generation of gamers that we don't care much for PC Games. Then again, I do beleive you guys get the upper hand when it comes to some A+ games, Quake 4, most if not all of the Sims, and I guess some 360 ports with easier controls such as BioShock.

Here's why I envy you oh so amazing 39 year-old grandma boys, how the shit do you get PC games to run on common computers. Ok I own 2 computers, one for freeware gaming, and one for browsing the web and blogging. The first ones a Dell the other one is an HP Pavillion. Now yesterday I went out and bought a copy of Psychonauts for the PC, why because I can that's why. So right when I got back I opened it up took out CD 1 and loaded it up, when I did I had to do the whole put in Disc 2 then 3 and so on, once it was done I clicked Play Psychonauts on the splash screen, and I get a pop-up that reads, Psychonauts could create Device3D please ensure your video cards are installed and up-to-date.

Ok, so after that I make sure my cards are in and new and strong so I check out the site, all I get is make sure the cards are working, well of course there working dipshit or I couldn't read this. Well this is bullcrap, this is one of the reasons I don't PC game about unless there are no other ways to play the games. Some people rave Crysis for kicking ass, but really I could just play it on the PS3, now do mind the controls will suck monkey hair dipped in caramel but atleast I can play it. This also falls under the same level as Psychonauts, it's for the PS2 and the original Xbox and the XBLM (Xbox Live Marketplace) and Steam, so I don't have to spend $300 on all the video cards I would need, I can just spend like $70; $50 for the PS2 and $20 for Psychonauts.

I'm just gonna have to say if you have Alienware or a really high-end ass PC that your not using mail it to:

52 Cookie Monster Dr.
M&M P2T
Jesse Guarascia

Anyways that's all I have to say oh by the way, IC (Internet Critic) is coming back tommorrow to tell you all about the Season Premiere of Heroes, the best show ever, and that's all I have to say and thanks for reading.

E-mail me at: chroniclesofvideogames@gmail.com
IM me at: kingbling95@hotmail.com
AIM me at: Loredivine

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Psychonauts Website

Small Buisiness Sites

2008-09-20T08:54:00.000-07:00

Hey IC (Intenet Critic), decided to take a break for the weekend, but I, Jesse Guarascia moderator of this blog, is still here to enthroll you. Ok that's enough trying to be smart and onto my point.

Well when you take a stroll down internet lane, you tend to see websites for buisinesses you've never heard of but in all honesty do you ever think to look at them. I mean really, do you care if Oshweken Toys and Electronics has a sale, of course not. When I look at the most searched sites on Google I see Youtube, Amazon, Yahoo, and of course the #1 reason people go on the internet, porn, but never DeRosaOnline.

Where I live, Hamilton, there are alot of small businesses ranging from barbers to painting services, some of them will eventually get out there, look at McDonalds, once a small buisness started up a decade or so ago, now it's a multi-million fattening corporation. Some major retailers for clothing, video games, and toys, don't even have websites, EBGames Canada holds no information whatsoever other than the price of some of the older games, where as EBGames.com has information, pricing, and hell even user reviews.

On the other hand if you're already a huge corporation to start off with much, much before you even start a site, you will get big hits if you advertise in your stores, do contests, and even give people the chance to submit content onto the site. Look at Teletoon.com and .ca they both have games, to keep the children enthrolled to their site of course, contests, to keep you coming back to the site to see new contests, and previews and such on new shows their showing. The marketing buisness is the #2 reason buisnesses, both large and small alike, make websites.

The #1 reason would be, to expand your business. If you have lets say 5 offices in the country, your not giving a widespread apeal, but if you have 50 offices nation wide you're gonna get looked at. Most new businesses can't afford that kind of investment, so to get noticed they have 1 of 2 options. 1 they can start giving out posters and T-Shirts to people who come in and they get advertising without having to pay the advertiser, or 2 they can start up a website at the cost of the registration fee, and probably a website engineer unless you know someone that will do it for free.

Building a website is becoming easier and easier, you just hit up a hosting website, sign-up with an existing e-mail, then choose the layout and design and your done, think about how many people go to a place where they want to know something about, to how many people just go ahead and Google it. Probably 20/80, but that's why if you have a couple of offices or buildings at your disposal you can get people that don't already know about your site .

Anyways that's all I have to say this Saturday, thanks for reading and IC will be back Monday for all of your internet and video game news.

E-mail me at: chroniclesofvideogames@gmail.com
IM me at: kingbling95@hotmail.com
AIM me at: Loredivine

Oshweken Toys and Electronics Site
McDonald's Site
Eb Games Canada
Eb Games

IC's Video Game Update- Kirby Super Star Ultra

2008-09-19T13:02:00.000-07:00

Hey you guys, Internet Critic here, well thank you Ninty (Nintendo). Kirby has been a staple in most of Nintendo's party games such as Super Smash Bros. and a couple of sports games. Since his last couple of games have been, mediocre at best, and epic failure at least, Nintendo's newest Kirby for the DS has been released. Essentially Kirby Super Star Ultra is a rehashing of Kirby Super Star on the Super Nintendo Entertainment System, and some consider it one of the best Kirby games ever.

The game contains all of the 8 games the original had, although it actually contained 9 games, the box said 8. Now we move onto what I'm going to dislike about this game, that it's a remake. The remake department is where all useless minds of gaming come to try to make an old game fresh again. One of the company's I can think of who does this alot is the company who developed this remake, Nintendo. They didn't just do this and a couple of other games, they do this constantly, look at The Legend of Zelda, you get a sword, some weapons, slice people, kill Ganon or Ganondorf, depends on the game, and save Zelda, we've done that what 41 times now. Trust me when I say this you can only sit on Goomba's so many times before you wanna say "Umm where's the turret."

Anyways that's all I have to say for now, I wish you the best for this week, and have fun on the interwebs. Also really fast before I go check out the video below it's on the history of Kirby and I will be gone all weekend, you know parties.

Email me at: Chroniclesofvideogames@gmail.com (O.K. it's my old youtube name)

IM me at: Kingbling95@hotmail.com (I was 9 what do you want)

AIM me at: Loredivine (I still don't get it)

Gaming Historian - History of Kirby

Hotz Explosion

2008-09-18T17:41:00.000-07:00

Hey, Internet Critic here today, Jesse Guarascia wants to post. Goddamn it Jesse just write it already, eh stop crying and do it BIOTCH!!! Oh we're still on, I said press the big OFF AIR button you retard. Ok here's Jesse. Hey guys, if you live in Hamilton, happen to pick-up on CHCH news, or just heard about this story on the internet, Hotz Enviromantal Plant on Lottridge Street, had a chlorine fire. This doesn't really matter though as it was small, but where it was, was my major concern. Lottridge Street is one of the most mainstream streets in all of Hamilton, Main is of course at the top. Lottridge has alot of houses just on the west end, it also holds a McDonalds, a variety store, a Dairy Queen, and a computer repairs and hardware shop. Meaning not only homes were at risk but small and large businesses were at stake.

Another thing that's not as important to most people, but is to me, is that my friend Justin Forsyth lives directly next to the building, and at the time he had two of my other friends, Denzil Davidson and Jordan something that's extremely long. Anyways I'm gonna stop talking about that and get back to the incident.

Ok, another thing that might interest the hippies who own computers, the chlorine fire was starting from it being fused not intentionally but fused. Somehow the chemicals in the water at the building reacted with the chlorine and fire got on it, then the fire grew. Which basically means that the entire plant and all of Lottridge to Barton was evacuated, meaning there are extremely toxic chemicals still rolling around in the air. This means if the same X amount of chlorine touches Y amount of the chemicals, let's say a large cloud of chemicals, 4ml at best, touches a small pool in a persons backyard that's 50 gallons depending on size, and a smoker throws their light and it hits water off the pool, goes up and into the infected pool, there could be an extremely large epidemic.

Most people will chart this off as a "coincidence", but what are the chances that a building with hundreds of workers, manages to lose some of the watery runoff in the plant, the runoff contains chemicals, that just happens to poorly react together with chlorine, then fire just happens to reach it. Well that's my opinion, thanks for reading.

God Jesse, learn to stop talking for a damn second. Well now that he's done I think I, the Internet Critic, are gonna just head off now and shut down the production of this post. Well that's all folks, copyrighting optional.

Email me at: chroniclesofvideogames@gmail.com (Don't ask)
IM me at: kingbling95@hotmail.com (Really don't ask)
AIM me at: loredivine (I don't get it)

And catch the original story at www.CHCH.com (look for yourself ya lazy)

Internet Critic tries out SwagBucks

2008-09-16T12:11:00.000-07:00

Hmph, wow just wow. I like free stuff as much as the next guy, but really do they need this many damn websites. Gaming Lagoon, Prize Rebel, Rewards1, the list fucking goes on and on. Some of them truly are scamming you, with fake testimonials, and contest where people don't actually win. Although this truly stupid group of people exists on the internet I have found a website that truly gives what they are promising.

The site is called SwagBucks, why I don't really know. Oh wait maybe because you purchase Swag from the site with Bucks you get from searching, thus SwagBucks. Trust me I do not lie to my readers and I will not lie to anybody this site gives you free stuff. I swear on my life if you use it test it out, get one of the rock pictures, mine was of Linkin Park, and order it, it usually takes 6-8 days from experience.

The concept is simple, search and win, but it's alittle more complex then typing a,b,c and so on until you win. Here's a couple of tips to win points well, search at a good pace and search things that you wouldn't search regularly. You can 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 swag bucks at one time.

Ok off of tips and back onto the review. Another thing I should note is that you can win points from recycling old cellphones. Of the course the cellphone idea is kind of like, spend tons of money on a new cellphone, get rid of an old one lying around in your house, and get some points. If you have something old you might as well get payed to get rid of it right.

One final thing I'll say before my final verdict, is that the price of some products is ridiculous. Why is Hannah Montana for the Wii 20 SwagBucks more than Halo 3 on the Xbox 360. That's not my only gripe, you only get 20 searches a day to win points so you have to search a tiny bit on swagbucks and it's usually only 1 point per search. The only way to prevent getting 10 points a week and try to get 4000 points to get an Xbox 360 Elite, which by the way would take...... 10 a week by 4000 points 10 divided by 4000..... it would take 400 weeks.

Well that's all I have to say for now thanks for reading and if you would like to recommend some different games or programs to review please email me at internetcritic@gmail.com or personally IM me at kingbling95@hotmail.com.

Video Game Review - Combat Arms

2008-09-15T18:14:00.000-07:00

Ok cool, so I've finally taken the time to play an mmofps. Ok Combat Arms, it's essentialy a free. version of Call of Duty 4, although it's extremely scaled down the weapons suck ass, and the graphics look like a really bad PS1 original graphics engine. Ok really the game is fun the only problem is that compared to other online FPS', like GunZ, it's just not up to snuff.

Although it's not GunZ Glory, it's not without it's W1N P0W3R, (leet speak optional). The game, instead of needing you to pay with real cash for say FAKE CASH, allows you to get through the whole entire game and get to the top rank, simply using store bought items. You do have the option to pay for some items with Nexon Cash, which is kind of redundant considering you can, like I just said, play and get money to buy almost all of the gear with.

It doesn't really succeed with anything else, the game it's trying to rip off isn't being ripped off, it's just being acted like. COD4 has perks and you can chose what equipments you want, with Combat Arms you get the same thing without the perk idea, but you get ALOT of equipment. I mean a lot. Something I find a little pointless about the equipment is the sun glasses. The sunglasses do nothing whatsoever I mean nothing, they don't increase sight, zoom, or allows you to detect enemy health or anything, all they do is make you look cool.

You should also notice this game follows every other fps game, the range of grenades kicks ass. Instead of in COD4 where you need to be a pro linebacker to outrun the damn splash, you can walk outside or be a couple of yards away from the grenade to stop the fatal attack. I mean really if you've played COD4 the matrydom perk on Vacant or Shipment, the 2 most enclosed maps in the whole game, you literally can't walk around for 5 seconds without getting killed from the grenade splashAnd finally the number one thing that makes me dislike this game and any online fps, the controls suck ass. Ok heres how it works, left click shoot, right click zoom, scroll click melee, mouse movement moves camera, q and e to scroll from primary to secondary weapon, x for grenade, and w a s d to walk around. This game completely screws that up, heres how they do it, left click shoot, right click zoom, press 3 then shoot for melee, mouse movement for camera, 1 and 2 to switch from primary and secondary weapons, 4 for grenade then click fire, and w a s d to walk around. What the hell man yes you can change the controls around to fix it but who has the time to do that, most FPS players just wanna shoot a bitch.

Final Verdict:

Download it if you like COD4 but don't wanna play for Xbox Live, it's truly fun but doesn't try to hard, better choice would be GunZ or perhaps go pay 50 dollars for a Xbox Live Gold Membership you lazy.....

Score:

Cost - 10

Customization - 8

Combat Engine - 7

Controls - 5

Final Score - 7

For future program or software reviews email me at internetcritic@gmail.com

or personally IM me at kingbling95@hotmail.com

I am now the Internet Critic

2008-09-14T14:50:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to another exciting day here at Guarascia Home Blog, although there's no news I always have something to talk about in my free time. Like this, I have finally found what I'm going to talk about, the Internet. Yeah yeah I know I already talk about that stuff, but now 95% of the time this'll be all I talk about. Every day Monday to Saturday, I'll be either reviewing some new or old software or games usually freeware and whatever looks interesting, or websites. On Sundays though I'll do some searching and write on something interesting.

Well this is my first post as the Internet Critic, thanks for reading and you can share your ideas on what internet programs and games you would like me to either review or rant about, and to talk to me personally email me at chroniclesofvideogames@gmail.com.

OR:

By MSN - kingbling95@hotmail.com
By AIM - Loredivine

Update to my Google Chrome Review

2008-09-13T09:11:00.000-07:00

Ok well hmmm how do I say this, I lied, sorta. Ok my Google Chrome review has now taught me to never review ANYTHING, after being released for less than a week. This happened with Grand Theft Auto 4 everyone in the gaming world who got it either 1 day or 2 or 3 days before it released and when they reviewed it they gave it 10/10 or said "If god was to share his vast bounty and wisdom with the world, we would have GTA IV." Not in those exact words mind you, but you get the jist. Now that I've seen that Google Chrome crashes alot, probably entailing to the fact that it's still in BETA, so I've decided to switch over to Safari.

Ok back to Safari. Safari has a pretty good idea going for itself, it gives you the major websites as bookmarks automatically, something Chrome and IE and Firefox are lacking. It is essentially for Mac's but it seems to move incredibly quick as compared to IE or Chrome, Firefox I'm not sure because I don't use it anymore. Hell if Safari was any faster I would have to sign that petition to ban IE. I'm not saying right now that I think Safari is the only web browser you should be using, but if I find a couple of problems I'll be sure to write them done here.

Oh and before I say "Good you read what I wrote go back to Google searching free porn." I would like to say to the man Jack Xu or how ever you spell it, if I checked I could be labeled boring legally, who commented on my Stephane Dion post. I agree with you in every way, Laton and Dion deserve the crappy votes there getting and if they somehow magically reduce Harper to such a low stance that he admits he's gay, I'll have to stop trusting Harper and the entire conservative party.

Stephane Dion Website Attack Ad

2008-09-10T19:01:00.000-07:00

Ok if you live in Canada, or care for that matter, there has been a new election for Prime Minister. This is against, mainly Conservative leader and current Prime Minister Steven Harper, NDP Leader Jack Laton (I don't know how to spell it), and Liberal leader Stephane Dion. Now Harper I beleive had his board members write some new material on the Conservative website, this material just happened to be an attack ad, towards the one and only Jesse Guarascia de Urena, I mean uhh Stephane Dion. While we were watching the local news, I saw that the website ad consisted of Stephane Dion some un-important information about his past and his thought's on how the goverment should be run, which were all being completely debunked as stupid.

If I recall from an episode of Family Guy, the undecided voter will vote for the stupidest person in the game, so Harper will get all of the votes. Instead of making some compelling points about how smart his opponent is but that you can do better, he simply does what I said, shows Dion and calls his ideas stupid, but he also shows a bird taking little white canary dumps on Dion's shoulder. When I was speaking to my mother she didn't get it, neither did I all he did was make fun of him and show a bird pooping on him.

I just think Harper could have atleast put a little damn thought or got his site managers, to put a little thought into making and attack ad. If he did I think I could respect him a little bit, but you know if the undecided voter wasn't such a retard we wouldn't have to deal with this bullcrap. Anyways that just my opinion and thanks for reading.

Bleach vs. Naruto

2008-09-05T18:18:00.000-07:00

O.K. for the people who actually read the text that I put on a flimsy blog, which is 13 is I read the counter correctly, you'll know that I do mainly software and program reviews at the moment and sometimes just I talk about my day. Now I'm falling as far as I can into the nerdom of the interwebs, anime. Ok anime is a cartoon based off of a magazine like book known as Manga, such as King of Tennis or Yu-Yu Hakusho (is that correct I really don't know.)

Those examples are only for hardcore anime fans that have followed manga since it's U.S. or U.K. inception, cause if you cared since it's start in Japan then you'd be reading this in that shiny white house that god lives in appearently. Bleach and Naruto are the #1 anime/mangas to get people started, like Spongebob Squarepants or Mario Party are shows and games to get people into each of the 2 mediums. A couple years back me and my bud Ryan started watching some Naruto and Bleach because everytime we went to the youtube homepage I see Bleach and Naruto in the most watched videos section. So we went on AnimeHub and watched a bunch of episodes and of Naruto and then like 2 episodes of Bleach the first and then the second.

Well instead of stalling let me get to the main point of my argument. "What is it?", asks the oblivious and somewhat retarded reader. Well it's what anime/manga is better Bleach or Naruto. Well I guess to truly prove my opinion on the matter, I'll have to show each sides of the group.

OK I would but think about it your bored because you looking through all of these gay ass blogs but whatever. So if you would kindly take the time to vote that would highly appreciated, thanks for reading.

-Jesse Guarascia

Google Chrome Beta Review

2008-09-03T15:41:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, if you live in one the major countries or one of the 100 google institued you probably downloaded the new web browser from google, Google Chrome. This web browser is marketed as a competor to IE but i think they asked Microsoft for the script code from IE (internet explorer). The interface is the same, there's no add-ons like Firefox and the tabs are still so simple to use as long as you have a toe you can make one, but there are some things that are better.

Such as the fact that you can encode websites into different languages if they have accepted the ability to alter the text the correct encoding (i.e: a German website that want's to be translated to english will change it's encoding to be able to translate to english). Another cool thing it can do is it has the ability to make a shortcut that can be placed on your desktop that will automatically link your website of choice. The final cool thing is that it's actually FASTER than IE and Firefox and it's still in beta, infact that's what I'm talking to you through). There were also 2 other features it contained, 1 is incognito which allows you to open web pages and they wont show up in your history (for all you..... cat watchers out there). The 2nd one is that it can actually copy links from different areas such as picture URL's you want without having to open the page, copy paste the link in the adress bar and bring it over to, now you can just right click and copy link then paste to wherever you want.

Although this browser is AMAZING I still have some major gripes which also fall under the same catagories as my gmail rant. See: http://guarasciabloghome.blogspot.com/2008/08/gmail-sucks.html . Such as the fact that they disallow ALOT of cookies sometimes major ones such as blogger, that was the only major on I saw but I'm sure theres more. They also don't give you the home page button on the address bar right away you have to put on yourself. Also whenever you make a new favourite it isnt just a favourite you can access from a favourite's area on your address bar, it's placed in the quick links bar, so it could be filled up REALLY FAST.

Anyways, thats the last thing I have to say about this other than the final verdict.

Final Verdict:

Go download it. If you don't god will come down and kick in your balls until you die. The software is simple but has alot of useful interfaces. (Also note all of this review was conducted solely on the BETA version of the software program, all readers of the full release of the initiated software's full version must be diregarded from this review.)

Score:

Interface: 9

Accessability:9

Speed:10

Final Score: 9.5

AVG Anti-Virus System Review

2008-09-01T12:08:00.000-07:00

Ok, as I speak to you my secondary computer is filled with virus', but I expect it to be fixed from AVG Anti-Virus System.

This program is free to most people unless you want true all around addware spyware blocking, you have to buy it. The program itself is extremely simple to use all you have to do is click computer scan and there you go you've got it going, now unlike most free download spyware and addware blocking programs this one isn't one that's actually going to GIVE you the virus you were trying to get rid of infact I use this more than Windows Defender to get rid of multiple virus'. Although my version is free, it still is completely fast and powerful.

It's Scanning is phenomenal, it doesnt scan just folders or areas (although you have to choice to do that), it scans every single file in all areas, no matter how small or how large. They find the files with under-protection scripts, with I beleive it's own C++ programming. If the other programs such as Norton or the free trial of Windows Defender you will be forced to only scan areas at a time. Also AVG has the ability to speed up to go through the coding and only scan areas that stick out, you can choose moderate for coding or encrypting that stands out and looks for files that are infected (usually cookies), and the last is slow so it can search through the entire code incase there is something you need to hide from the search so the program doesn't delete it thinking it's an infected code.

There are some flaws such as the length of scans. The scans are truly very slow as compared to Norton Anti-Virus and Windows Defender. The moderate scan is approx. 20 mins. for 80,000 files, where as Windows Defender does about 75,000 in 10 minutes. Another one, and this is refering to the free version of the program, is the lack of ability to delete critical level infections such as Trogan programs that try to hack through your "back door".

Overview:
This program is amazing for a free adware spyware blocker as compared to most which look like they work but end up giving you the virus' you were trying to get rid of. The scan ability is strong enough to read all files specifically but takes forever for it to finish even on the fastest speed as compared to Norton Anti-Virus and Windows Defender. It also lacks the ability to delete critical file infections.

Final Verdict:
Great program on it's on, but far better, far faster and far stronger, with pay for programs such as Norton and free programs from Microsoft such as Windows Defender. I highly reccomend this program.

Rating:
Scanning Ability: 8
Scanning Time: 5
Infection Deletion Power: 6
Total Score: 7/10

Aww man, I am tired!!

2008-08-31T14:53:00.000-07:00

Ok before I die of energy loss, let me tell you what I did all day, ok well first pretaining from last nights post ending, where I said I got really tired and fell asleep on the bus and in Swiss Chalet, I got home at about 10 and just threw myself at the couch and died, just flat out burned to sleep ( yeah I don't know what that means ). Anyways, ok so I had to get up at 6:00 am so I could go to London, Ontario, and hang out at this race with my cousin. I did a race with him and he had to put lipstick on me, lucky prick, and he won a prize of a plastic guitar, a microphone and stand, a Brittany Spears fag headset, and an amp, so it was Rock Band for 7 year olds, minus the amp. after that we went back to his uncles trailer, by the way I was in a trailer park whilst doing this, and we played around with it. The guiter seemed to work fine, as well as the mic ( even thought it didn't really pick up on anything ) and eventually the headset broke because it was so flimsy.

So we got bored and went back to the races so me and my bro could do one to win a Skateboard game that you plug in to your T.V. We had to run to our oppisite so I had to rn to my bro and he had to run to me he flew over broke it then I ran supa-fasta and broke mine I think with my butt, I dunno couldn't tell from all of the fat in the way. So we won the game plugged it into the tv and it worked preety well, you lean left and right and control the skateboard by doing tricks on them depending on how we lean and how fast you press one of these buttons on the control pad. So we left and came home and now I'm typing, so yeah thanks for reading.

Jesse Guarascia

I went before-school shopping woot!!!

2008-08-30T17:51:00.000-07:00

Hey you guys I just wanted to tell you my favourite parts of going to the mall to buy some stuff for school. Well I myself have bought a notebook, an orginizer, a planner, and some shoes. Yeah the essentials. Anyways, one of my favourite parts was when I was on the bus there. There were I think 3 teenagers who got on the bus, all girls, and they were being harrassed by some guys. I mean holy jesus christ seriously do you need to yell at any and all girls, until your idiotic friends laugh there asses off because there sooooooo stoned. Yeah they were selling something I think it was weed.

Ok well, after that funness ( is that a word I'm really not sure ) I did the shopping. I got some Nike Zoom shoes, which look really cool, and umm after that I got some school bags one was a greyish one with a long strap ( yeah it's a messenger bag, for laptops ), and the other was red. Then after that I got a McFlurry and nothing else of ANY interest happened, then I went to Swiss Chalet then I came home and now I'm blogging on my day.

Thanks for reading.

Gmail Sucks

2008-08-29T17:03:00.000-07:00

Gmail promises they have no spam whatsoever but I receive maybe 5 spam messages in my inbox which is weird, because when they advertise there website they promise that delete any and all spam. Really, ALL SPAM. Ha I beg to differ and it's not just the inbox spam, if they delete any and all spam then why is there a spam inbox.

I'm guessing it's because you might get an email counted as spam when you sign-up to a website, but how about they develope some software that finds spam websites. I mean this thing is run by GOOGLE. These guys own Youtube and the best search engine on the web, but they can't use that search engine in order to find websites that send spam to people inbox's when they sign up. I'm not a code engineer or anything so I can't argue at how difficult it may be to run all of these sites and programs, for FREE, but seriously Google if one of your webmasters or coders for gmail are reading this, figure out what is spam, and what isn't.

Wassup and explanation to the title

2008-08-29T07:20:00.000-07:00

Ok wazzup people's. That is all. Oh right the explanation of the title ok well this website is pretaining to me Jesse GUARASCIA and this is my BLOG HOME so I thought hmmm I wonder if the nicks'll win the world series hell yeah. Then I thought oh I'll name my blog Guarascia Blog Home so I did. Well once again welcome.

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Aww man, I am tired!!

I went before-school shopping woot!!!

Gmail Sucks

Wassup and explanation to the title